Pumpkin Season

October is here! It’s the month I love the most because I always have a lot going on, from NYCC to my birthday to Halloween and everything else in between! Growing up I loved any excuse to dress up so when I discovered NYCC was simply more days of Halloween, I simply couldn’t say no to participating.

I also have both my dating and my wedding anniversary in the mix to add to the celebrations so literally everything I love happens in October. And this year I turn 30 so I’m basically taking the whole month to celebrate. Hopefully I find time to keep up with my blog during the month during the madness! I’m going to try and keep up so I don’t get backlogged.

I stopped by Harbes Farm last week to pick up a few pumpkins to decorate for my house. I started painting pumpkins a few years back and I do find that I enjoy it a lot, since I can’t carve for the life of me. Painting also helps them last longer as well so I can display these all through til Halloween and then some. Right now, pumpkins and apples are in season so there’s plenty to choose from, especially so early in the season. The farms even have fresh pumpkin ice cream which I really wanted to try but I’m currently focused on meeting my goals so I held back for right now. The cheat is not worth setting me back. Especially since NYCC is literally days away and I don’t want to compromise all my hard work.

Despite being a summer child, I do love fall fashion. I love wearing boots and I just got a new pair of thigh high boots that were on sale at Aldo and they look absolutely amazing on my now leaned out legs. I don’t feel like I’m trying to suffocate my calves anymore squeezing them into tall boots. And the leaning out helps make me appear taller on my 5’2” frame. I’m still wearing dresses and skirts regardless of what season it is, so they definitely look great with these boots. I’m looking to pick up some more cute long line sweaters and cardigans since I rarely wear sleeved tops. A simple witchy hat is also really cute for the fall season. I’m dying to wear all my cute black ankle boots too.

I love watching The Nightmare Before Christmas during Halloween time. It was one of the first movies me and my husband watched together when we started dating and I found it really cute that it was a love story. I’m also the weirdo that likes to watch Mean Girls all year round and it also happens to fall under the Halloween category for me in terms of movies, hahaha. Some of my favorite Halloween movies are actually not so ‘scary.’ I love Casper with Christina Ricci and the Casper and Wendy movie with Hilary Duff. Edward Scissorhands is also another one I’ve always loved for Halloween. Sleepy Hollow. The Craft. A Cinderella Story.

Also with October, we’re basically 2-3 months away from the end of the year! I’m excited because I feel like I did a lot this year. I can’t wait to reflect back and look at everything I’ve done and accomplished. BUT! The year’s not over just yet. Let’s see what more I can squeeze into these last few months. I want to finish strong! So far I’ve lost a total of 23 lbs. Twenty three pounds. I can’t believe I did it. I never thought I’d come this far honestly, considering how many times I’ve failed at my weight loss goals in the past. But you just pick yourself up and keep trying, right? And I’m so proud of myself for not only going below my college weight, but toning out my body to be in its best shape ever of my life. It’s been a really hard journey and a lot of work and determination. It was rough, not gonna lie. But it was definitely worth it. I love where I’m at right now and it really does help push me further and keep me focused.

How are you doing on your goals? Are you close to finishing? Did you grow this year? Did you work on yourself? What are you waiting for?!

Disappointed.

"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them."

 I feel really disappointed lately. At first I was mad. Then bitter. But ultimately I think the true feeling I'm feeling is simply disappointed and that's why I really feel hurt. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm to blame. Maybe I do too much for others. To the point where they become dependent on it and/or take it for granted. They think you will always be there. They don't worry about putting in effort into the friendship because they think you will always be there. And they're not exactly wrong. It's like I never learn my lesson. I still would bend over backwards to help a friend no matter how much someone has let me down. I wish I could change this nature. Because how do people learn if you keep letting them get away with being a bad friend? Like rewarding bad behavior so people think it's okay to continue walking all over you and take your kindness for weakness.

I do feel underappreciated a lot from time to time. Especially when you try your hardest to help someone in their time of need.  Or just by remembering small things like making sure everyone is fed and comfortable. I really am the mom friend. And I feel exactly like a mom in the underappreciated aspect as well.

I try to be supportive.  I try to be there. I make myself available as much as I can if someone needs me. I try to check up on people to make sure they're ok. I listen. I offer help.

But what happens when that person who needs help is me? Not everybody has the same heart and you just end up disappointed if you believe they do. 

I wish I could learn to do less. To say no. To slow down. To not give people everything. But it's not in my nature to treat my friends like that. I'll always want to help them as much as I can. My parents are like this and taught me this. So did Rocco. 

I do a lot for people and I think I just wish people would in turn, turn around and do the same for me when I need it. I don't even ask for much when I need help compared to what I do for them. I'll still try to accommodate people best I can to not inconvenience them when I ask for help. It's just really disheartening watching those you love turn around and put more effort into other relationships instead. 

This is really my own fault. I need to stop investing my heart in those relationships. If they don't care, why should I? If I don't matter as much to someone, why should I continue caring about them? If they're not going to make the effort, why should I? Because I'm a sucker and I'm always going to be here when people come running back and need me. As hurt as I am sometimes I will always stand by to pick up the pieces when your whole world shatters. I wish I had a blacker heart sometimes. It would be easier to not get hurt. I wish people knew and understood how I felt. I wish people would understand the gravity of their actions or lack thereof, and it's impact on people. Sometimes you just don't mean to, but what you do or don't do, hurts the most.

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RuPaul's Dragcon NYC 2018

Last year I attended Rupaul’s Dragcon on a Sunday, it’s last day. This year I attended on it’s first day. Friday was the preview night and open from 4-8pm.

I got there early since I had lunch at Drunken Dumpling earlier. I’ve also been meaning to stop by and try their giant soup dumpling for some time and finally got around to it. In my opinion, I found their other dumplings much better than the giant soup dumpling but I still had to get it and try it for myself. It was delicious but I see now why you should enjoy things in its smaller, original forms. The proportions of the regular soup dumpling is evenly paired with the soup, pastry lining and meat inside. The giant soup dumpling ended up being too much and hard to eat. But it was fun to have and share and cute for photos. I would definitely go back for more dumplings as their pink shrimp dumplings were really good and their original sized soup dumplings are amazing too. I’m glad I went by their recommendations when ordering.

After lunch, we visited the Museum of Broken Windows exhibit. It’s a small and temporary exhibit only running this past week to showcase the ineffectiveness of broken window policing and how detrimental it has been, and how it has actually cost more lives than it was thought to have saved. It was really sad to view and read about all the things that happened to people. One part of the exhibit had names hanging from the ceiling of people who have been killed by the police due to these policies, basically a “snippet” of their profile/police report. This exhibit should honestly run for more than a week so that more people can come view it.

After that, we finally shantayed our way over the convention since opening time was at 4pm. We got there early, grabbed our wristbands and waited about 10 minutes in line before the rope drop and we ran right in.

First stop was the Sugarpill booth as I wanted to snatch up the new launches they released earlier this month. I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed pretty much everything. Sugarpill is an indie brand I discovered in college and I’ve loved them since. They were one of the few makeup companies that delivered on its products when it came to the brightness and accuracy of its swatches. The quality is there and they deliver. I’m also bias because its founder is a cute Vietnamese girl from California. She’s what I picture myself as if I had grown up on the West Coast and been allowed to follow my dreams and creative side more, instead of being a sensible East Coast Asian. Her achievements since beginning her brand have been remarkable. I’m so happy for the brand and I love seeing them each time they visit New York. This time, they brought so many of their recent new launches and I scooped basically all of them up. Their matte and sparkle liquid lipsticks are the best I’ve ever seen. The formula is so easy to apply and wear and sparkly. Barbara, the new limited edition color from the Oh Honey! Trixie Mattel collection is my new favorite. It’s the perfect Barbie hue with the right amount of sparkle. I really hope they make it permanent and sold separately from the kit.

My second must-do stop for the day was Elektra Cosmetics. I discovered them last year at Dragcon and I swear, I don’t know how I lived without them in my life before. If you follow me on my Instagram, you know I LIVE for the days off from work where I wear glitter like its my job. Casual glitter is a thing. What happened last year at Dragcon, was that I was walking about with my friends and saw this booth that caught my booth but didn’t want to stop because my friends were moving forward. When we split for a bit and did our own thing, I went back to the booth with my sister to see what the sparkly hubbub was about. There were jars and jars of glitter and a huge selfie ring light for taking gorgeous selfies. What I like about their product is how easy it is to apply on and that it stays in place and on all day. I’ve worn it literally day everywhere. On trips to Paris, in the Bahamas, to work, out with friends, everywhere. Well, I dabbed some on my cheeks that day and was sold. And I haven’t looked back. I started with two jars of their bolt balm originally. And then it grew from there over time as they came out with more colors and I decided I needed more in my life. Eventually I will probably own every single color in the collection. I can’t say enough about them either. They simply have the best customer service for an indie company and are really engaging with their customers, which I appreciate a lot from small companies. They take note of everything and they really take care of you. So naturally, I was really excited to see them again this year. And they did not disappoint. They brought ALL of their new colors and hooked me up! I even got a new microfine glitter to take home and try. I’ve never experimented with loose glitter before for eyeshadow for fear of getting in my eyes or making a mess because loose glitter, but they made it look so easy and even gave me the transformer glue so I could play around and work on it. I’m excited to see if I can master the art of loose microfine glitter as eyeshadow. Although this may be a dangerous path I’m walking down too. Anyways, I went home with many more jars of glitter than I’d like to admit to, to my evergrowing collection.

The rest of my day at Dragcon was browsing the rest of the booths and what they had to offer. There were so many things to see! Beautiful custom made wares - crowns, tiaras, unique sunglasses, latex clothing, plastic drippy pieces, art, fans, makeup, etc. I love the different booths here that I don’t see at a comic and pop culture convention.

Anastasia Beverly Hills even had their own booth giving out free makeovers and a HUGE beautiful photobooth that made you look like a literal queen as you stand on a pedestal and they take professional photos of you and email it to you immediately. This was also another one of my favorite experiences here.

I fell in love with a beret that I had saw @thedisneylandprincess wearing earlier in the year and lo and behold the vendor Sunshine by Hester was at Dragcon! You know I scooped that right up. It’s such a cute and perfect beret for Valentine’s as well as a cute piece to wear to Disney later this month. I can wear it with my Minnie Mouse outfit for my Epcot day since it would look so cute in France. I hope she re-releases the pink and the white berets too because those are super cute too. My sisters got cute berets that each matched their own personal styles too so I’m excited to wear them together next time my family goes on vacation together.

Another thing to note of the convention is the energy here. It’s a different energy I get from NYCC. It’s a lot of fun and very uplifting. Everyone is really nice and polite, but still sassy and funny. Even the bathroom atmosphere is really funny with the bathrooms being gender neutral. I was actually stuck in the bathroom for a while due to a hair incident from one of the booths (which I’ll keep quiet for now until resolved), but the people in the bathroom were really nice and polite while I had taken up an entire counter and some extra space to try and fix what had happened to my hair. I watched a guy accidentally walk into a stall that a girl was in and he was so upset about accidentally walking in on her, he basically started crying! He was like “I promise I didn’t see anything, I don’t want to look! TRUST ME HONEY THIS MORE SCARRING FOR ME THAN IT IS FOR YOU! I can’t with these bathrooms!” Hahaha! He was so embarassed but everyone else played it cool and was super nice.

After the convention, I grabbed dinner with my sisters real quick and headed down to the financial district to shoot with a friend for some quick photos before heading home. After eating and being in my Harley costume all day, I expected to look a little bloated and not up to par, especially since one of my food choices was dumplings. But I held back on getting ice cream with my sisters and for dinner, I got a healthy dish of grilled salmon instead of pasta so that helped because I still looked pretty good in my Harley suit in my photos. Jason Laboy isn’t heavy on the photoshop so my body isn’t altered at all in the photos he took, so I’m pretty proud that my body held up nicely after all I did all day. I’m really happy with how they came out and how my body looks in the Harley suit, finally doing Harley some justice in all her lean but curvy glory. You can also view the full set of photos here.

I’m really glad the gym and diet combo is working and my results are shining through after 4 weeks of not having ice cream, fries or any of my favorite foods. Update on my fall goals is that I’m currently at 108 lbs. I have 3 lbs left to lose before I leave for my vacation in another 4 weeks and I’m really hoping to crush it and get there sooner. I’m not progressing at the rate I would like to be at admittedly, but I forget how much of a waiting game this and that I have to be patient. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. The results will come as long as you are consistent, dedicated and focused. I am worried about NYCC though. It’s going to be definitely hard to stay on track while in the city for 4 days so hopefully I don’t do too much damage. I made it this far though, right?

Anyways, in conclusion, Dragcon was a blast for even the few short hours I was there and the small mishap that occured. I would definitely try to go again next year and hopefully it gets even bigger with more vendors and more new wares to discover! Until then, I’ll sashay away until they come back next year.