Have you ever been super excited to share something with someone only to be rejected or they not share that same enthusiasm back? Or worse, instead of being offered support and encouragement, you were hit with cynicism, doubt and negativity?
Rewind to January 2018. I hit rock bottom. I was at my heaviest weight, not fitting into my clothes the way I wanted and hating how I looked in everything and in the mirror. I finally decided to get my life together and make a change. I started taking my workouts more seriously and stepped it up. I worked with a personal trainer, I started lifting, I changed my diet, I ramped everything up. I went almost everyday. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and pounds started finally shedding off the scale and the weight came off and my body toned up. I was finally looking more and more like the old me, but better. Even leaner and healthier than before. And after a while, even when I reached my goals, I found myself still continuing with my diet and exercise. As cliche as it sounds, it really was a lifestyle change. I eat clean almost every day. Even at parties and other food filled events, I try to make the smarter choice. Of course I cheat every now and then but it’s just 1-2x a month. Do I miss my favorite foods? Absolutely. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t dying for some mac and cheese, ice cream, McDonald’s fries and a Big Mac. But I remember how eating all these foods on a regular basis made me feel and that’s what shakes me right back into reality to make the better decision. I remind myself I like how I look now and that’s how I discipline myself into making the better choice when it comes to food. I make myself go to the gym because if I don’t, the day doesn’t feel right. I’m actually lower in energy if I don’t go, ironically. It gives me the boost I need to go about the day.
But this is a lot of digressing. What am I getting at?
What I want to talk about today is what I found during this fitness journey of mine. When speaking to other people trying to lose weight and adopt and a healthier lifestyle too, I found that a lot of them experienced the same thing. What was it?
It's not an uncommon thing. It's just not always talked about and addressed but when going through this type of journey or maybe any type of journey where you’re trying to take steps towards a better life for yourself, you sometimes face some backlash. Not everyone will understand why you’re choosing to do this and not everyone will be as supportive as they should be. They will be negative about your decisions and try and tell you there’s no reason to change. Stand your ground. They will be cynical and believe you can’t do it so why bother. Prove them wrong.
I had a toxic person in my life try to tell me I didn’t need to change as they were trying to feed me more of the unhealthy foods that had caused my downward spiral. They even tried to discourage me against running, telling me all the bad things that would happen to me if I went through with my half marathon goals. Meanwhile this person was active and ate healthier than me to begin with. I found this hypocritical especially when these people in your life are supposed to be the most supportive in you changing your life around for the better. Don’t feed me that body positive disguised bullshit as you try to sabotage me. Jealousy looks ugly on you. Needless to say, I didn't let any of this unsolicited advice stop me. It only pushed me further to do it even more.
It all comes back to misery loves company. Some people don’t want you to change because they’re afraid of accepting the reality that they need to improve too in their own life. And you wanting to do better makes them feel uncomfortable because they are not ready to take that step for themselves. It’s funny because the people who won’t make the sacrifices required to get somewhere in life are usually the same people who will criticize others who do put in the work to reap the rewards. They know nothing about the work it takes to get to where you are, but are the quickest to give their opinion.
If you want to be able to share your journey and growth with people that appreciate hearing about them, you need to find people that enjoy participating in the same type of experiences. That’s why gym rats tend to find each other and group together. They see your transformations as inspirational instead of intimidating and alien. They will want to encourage you, not correct you. They are capable of relating and can see themselves realistically emulating the experience. It’s a human trait to be more interested in the things you can relate to.
And part of your journey is accepting how devoted you are to attaining your goals and not dimming your intensity to please other people. This is your life, not theirs. They do not get to dictate how you should live it when you’re working hard on the road to become a better, healthier, fitter, more active you.
In the end, pay no attention to the toxic people in your life. Cut them off if you can. Not everyone is going to understand your journey and they don’t have to. But if they’re not rooting for you and able to respect your decisions, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life honestly. Cut out the negative. Trust. You’ll be better off without. Stop spending time with them. Cut them off from your life. The best thing you can do for yourself and the worst thing you can do to the toxic haters is starve them of your time and attention. And the people who are rooting for you and are your personal cheerleaders? Invest your time in them instead. Make them proud. Push yourself and go the distance. Use that as motivation. You should be excited for that kind of encouragement. It sucks to have negative people rooting against you, yes, but those positive people betting on you? Are your angels. Do them proud. Use that energy and turn it into even more positive energy in the gym. Spend more time with these people. Surround yourself with that aura and uplifting vibes. That’s what you deserve as you climb your way to the top. Not that negative Nancy bullshit. And this doesn’t apply to just fitness, it applies to any positive changes and growth you try to work on and make in your life that may be met with resistance instead of encouragement and support. Don’t let those people get you down.
And if you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. Consistency continues to be underrated and underestimated. Prove those bitches wrong, you mother effing queen.