The Flu Shot

October 21, 2020

When it comes to vaccines in this highly controversial time with the anti-vax movement, it’s crucial to make sure you are educated and up to date with the correct information.

Let’s get down to the bottom line. The anti-vaxxers were born out of a dumb claim by a playboy model that vaccines cause autism due to the false myth promoted by now discredited British doctor Andrew Wakefield. The idea that vaccines cause autism has since been disproven, his studies have been retracted, and he has admitted to fabricating his study. But unfortunately, the damage has been done. Because we live in a society that still has flat Earth believers, it has now grown to include people who believe in this claim that vaccines cause autism and led to the anti-vax movement of today. It’s a very dangerous movement that risks the regression of modern medicine and is risking the health and welfare of future generations. But I’m not here to argue this with you. If you’re here and understand the importance of vaccines, then you’re already winning for not being an absolute moron.

So how do vaccines work? Simply put, as per the CDC, vaccines contain the same bacteria or viruses that cause the corresponding disease state. (I.e. the measles vaccine contains measles virus.) Some vaccines contain only a part of the disease germ. But they have been either killed or weakened to the point that they don’t make you sick. A vaccine stimulates your immune system to produce antibodies, exactly like it would if you were exposed to the disease. After getting vaccinated, you develop immunity to that disease, without having to get the disease first. That way if you do get exposed to the disease later on, your body has a fighting chance because it already has a headstart having that prior exposure and experience fighting it off. This is what makes vaccines such powerful medicine. Unlike most medicines, which treat or cure diseases, vaccines prevent them.

The problem with the flu is that it is a virus that mutates from year to year, as well as having many different strains that circulate every year. A flu vaccine is made to protect against the three or four flu viruses that research suggests will be most common. Which is why a flu vaccine is recommended every year. And unfortunately, it is not 100% foolproof. Just because you got the flu shot this year, does not necessarily mean you are safe from the flu completely. You can still get it because you may catch a different strain that the ones predicted and covered in the vaccine. But I would still highly recommend getting the vaccine because think about it, it’s like driving a car. You get in the car, knowing there are dangers on the road, but you put on your seatbelt and still take as many precautions as possible to avoid those dangers. Some things are obviously out of our control but if you could do one thing, just ONE thing to decrease the chances, wouldn’t you take it? Especially if you are in a high risk group that is prone to getting sick, and immunocompromised. Some people get sick and get over it in a few days, and some people get sick and are hospitalized for weeks. The flu is that roll of the dice. The vaccine helps to prevent tens of thousands of hospitalizations a year.

The flu vaccine is also widely covered by most insurances at no cost to you, and in some communities, is offered for free at health fairs and flu shot clinics. And with the expansion of immunization administration by pharmacists, you can get it at your local pharmacy instead of having to make an appointment and wait hours at your doctor’s office. It’s become that easy and convenient to get it. You can literally call up your local pharmacy and walk in to receive it that day with very little wait. I’ve also found through multiple colleagues, friends and families experiences that pharmacists do a better job at administering vaccines compared to other healthcare professionals, hahaha. When I used to work retail, I had a lot of customers come back year after year, since the first year we were allowed to administer vaccines, claiming they’d rather get their vaccines from the pharmacy because we were a gentler touch. I don’t know how to explain it but they would come back year after year, saying we didn’t hurt them as much as their doctor’s office. But I’ve also heard the opposite, so honestly I will say it does depend on who’s giving it as well. So if you’re a first time flu shot recipient, my advice to you would be ask your friends and family about their experience and see if they have a pharmacy and a pharmacist they prefer. It’s the same as when you’re looking for a new doctor. You want someone good so you follow the reviews. Hahaha, one day there will probably be a website that rates your pharmacist or healthcare professional on vaccine administration care, like ratemyprofessor.com

The flu vaccine is available in stores and hospitals as soon as August, when we receive shipments of the upcoming season’s updated vaccine. Peak of the season usually occurs around January in recent years, but you should get the vaccine as early as you can. It takes up to 2 weeks for your body to develop antibodies but once you have it, the antibodies provide protection for the entire flu season. I definitely highly recommend this vaccine during the nature of this year’s pandemic because it can definitely help to narrow down diagnoses and rule out certain things if you do get sick.

I hate to use this argument too but remember when you were a kid and your parents yelled at you for not finishing your dinner because “there are starving children in Africa”? Well the same applies here. We live in a society where this resource is available to us, at very little cost and yet we underutilize it while other countries are in dire need of vaccines but no means to pay for them, receive them, nor administer them once received. We should not underscore how medically developed we are and take it for granted. We have the resources to advance and protect our health. Now is not the time to ignore it or pass it by. If not for your health, at least for the sake of others. Getting vaccinated also helps protect the ones you love from contracting anything from you. Be safe. Be responsible. Be healthy.

Covid-19

March 18, 2020

I wish I could say something uplifting. Something hopeful. Something positive. But given the state of things, I’m not sure what to say exactly.

If you’ve been living under a rock, basically as Sebastian once said, “the human world, it’s a mess.” In a nutshell, we’ve succumbed to the threat that is coronavirus disease 2019, otherwise known as Covid-19. I took a continuing education lecture on Monday and here is what I learned that I can impart to those who are looking for the current facts.

What is Covid-19?

It’s a virus discovered in 2019, first detected in Wuhan, Hubei Province, China and has since then expanded all over the world and become a major global threat to the point where it has been officially declared a pandemic.

Major symptoms of Covid-19 include:

Fever -99% incidence
Cough-59% had dry cough
Dyspnea-31%.
Myalgias -5%
Runny nose
Sore throat
Headache

Covid-19 can sometimes lead to lower-respiratory tract illnesses, such as pneumonia or bronchitis. This is more common in people with cardiopulmonary disease, people with weakened immune systems, infants, and older adults.

How is it spread?

The air by coughing and sneezing.
Close personal contact, like touching or shaking hands.
Touching an inanimate object or surface with the virus on it, then touching your mouth, nose, or eyes before washing your hands. The virus can live for up to 3 day on contaminated surfaces. This is why prevention is important.

Prevention

Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. We were actually taught the proper hand washing technique (yes, there is actually a proper technique) at work last year at work and we all laughed about it at first until this happened and now we learned how relevant this became. We were tested on it and that’s how I remembered every step because it was so silly.
If using alcohol-based hand sanitizer, make sure it is at least 62.5% alcohol.
Avoid touching your eyes, nose, or mouth with unwashed hands.
Avoid close contact with people who are sick.
Clean and disinfect objects and surfaces frequently
Clean frequently touched surfaces and objects daily (e.g., tables, countertops, light switches, sink handles, doorknobs, and cabinet handles) using a regular household detergent and water.
If surfaces are dirty, they should be cleaned using a detergent and water prior to disinfection.
- The American Chemistry Council's (ACC) Center for Biocide Chemistries (CBC) has compiled a list of products that have been pre-approved by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) for use against emerging enveloped viral pathogens and can be used during the 2019 novel coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak: https://www.americanchemistry.com/Novel-Coronavirus-Fighting-Products-List.pdf .
- Most every common household product seems to be on the list.
- Most of your household products can destroy coronavirus.
Though there is not yet a vaccine available for COVID-19, staying up-to-date with seasonal flu vaccinations is important in preventing the spread of common coronaviruses and—since flu symptoms can be similar to COVID-19—seasonal vaccinations can help avoid complicating the diagnostic picture for your healthcare professional.

WHAT SHOULD A PATIENT WHO GETS CORONAVIRUS DO?

Stay home while you are sick, except to get medical care.
Avoid close contact with others.
Take pain and fever medications (avoid aspirin in anyone under age 18). ***Currently there is mixed opinions about the use of ibuprofen(also known as Motrin or Advil as it's brand names) being believed to aggravate symptoms so the World Health Organization recommends to use Tylenol also known as acetaminophen or paracetamol in the meantime.***
Manage sore throat and cough symptoms by:
- Drinking plenty of liquids
- Staying home and resting
- Using a room humidifier or taking a hot shower can help ease dryness and congestion.
- If you are concerned about your symptoms, contact your healthcare provider.
Recovery time appears to be around two weeks for mild infections and three to six weeks for severe disease. Once a person has returned from visiting an epidemic area 14 days or more ago, s/he is no longer considered to be infected.
MASKS -For most patients, wearing a mask actually increases your chances of getting coronavirus because you are touching your face, mouth, and nose while wearing and adjusting the mask.

This CE titled A New Virus in Town: COVID-19 (Coronavirus) was given as a live presentation from Freece.com and is available again on March 24, 26 and 30 for any pharmacist that has a freece membership and is interested in taking it. Unfortunately, information regarding the virus is changing quickly and on a daily basis so take everything you learn with a grain of salt until more information is available and more reliable. Remember to always check your sources as well. There is another live CE on March 31st going to be given at 6pm, called COVID-19: Navigating the Unchartered Pandemic Waters if you’re interested in checking that one out too if you are a pharmacist and have freece.com. I’ll be taking that lecture too and reporting back if there’s anything new to report.

So what ware my takeaways from this? Why is this important? The world today is not the same world we knew a month ago, a week ago, hell even yesterday. If you’ve been keeping up with the news, like I said, everything is changing on a daily, if not hourly basis. I’m not going to include numbers and statistics because they are constantly changing. The gist of it is, enough people are dying from it, that is is becoming a major issue disrupting every day life as we know and unfortunately, we can no longer ignore it. At first we watched from the sidelines as China descended into chaos and darkness. And if you watched medical disaster movies like Contagion, there’s a big hint as to how real this virus became and came to be as it traveled all over the world after the holidays. I remember hearing about this around the holidays too, as my sister said there was stigma about international students coming back to the US after break, since she goes to a school with a high percentage of international students. At first we didn’t take as seriously, but as weeks grew on, more information and news seem to keep popping up. There was something new week to week. And then as it reached the US, at first we didn’t seem to grasp the seriousness of it. But again, as weeks went on, things started to change. The progression of the disease spreading became logarithmic and this is how we are here today, in a state of panic and fear.

I say the world is not the same as we know it because literally a week ago, I would have never believed that all the Disneys in the world would ever be closed at the same time. And then this week, they announced they are shutting down all the Disney stores around the country as well, as other companies and stores followed suit. That’s HUGE. A nationwide shut down of major businesses. NYC is on the brink of a major shutdown as restaurants, bars, theaters, etc are forced to shut down to prevent mass gatherings to slow down the spreading of this disease. Photos online show my beloved city looking like a ghost town. It’s like we’re on the set of I Am Legend. Events all over the country have been cancelled, from weddings to conventions to sporting events/seasons to concerts to festivals to marathons to movie releases. I’m talking major stuff. Schools have been closed, colleges have been sending students home and struggling to figure out how to shift everything online for the time being. San Francisco is telling its citizens not to leave their house.

Jobs have either been laid off or told to work from home or to temporarily close. There are so many different unfortunate scenarios for people regarding their jobs too. There are those fortunate enough to work from home, but the transition is tricky. One of my sister teaches lab at a college in NYC and she’s been struggling to figure out how to put together a new syllabus and lesson plans and do it all online with a new program she’s unfamiliar with and having to buy new supplies to work from home in order to comply with the school’s mandates. She worries that her students may not graduate on time. She worries for those who may not make it through this terrible time due to finances and not having a place to stay as college shut their doors and force students home. What are international and out of state students to do in such short notice? They have to evacuate their dorms in sometimes less than 48 hours notice. It’s insane. I fear for the small businesses that will be hit hard by this, as this will occur in a loss in business and income and will possibly have to close. Who will pay them? Not everyone gets paid in a shutdown. And not everyone has healthcare to make it through this precarious time.

I also feel for those in retail jobs that need to remain open to help the general public, like grocery stores, pharmacies, food places (as many restaurants have had to change over to take-out and delivery only), and taxi/Uber drivers as they deliver local goods to everyone that can not afford to travel out for their own goods. Let’s not forget the mail carriers, the UPS and Fedex drivers and all other delivery services as they risk their own lives out their handling and delivering everyone’s packages as online orders soar due to scarcity in stores and high demand of necessary goods. The gas station workers that are still out there working instead of at home safe in quarantine with their families. The janitors and sanitation workers who have been asked to work later and longer hours than usual, late into the night to decontaminate schools, hospitals, offices, stores, and other public places of high foot traffic. Be kind to the police officers, firefighters, EMT workers, medical assistants, TSAs, all the public health and public service workers still going out there everyday putting their lives on the line so that we can still function as a society and have running ambulances, fire trucks, hospitals and offices open. There are also the factory workers who are still heading to work to help produce, package and ship all the goods we still need at this time, like medicines and all the goods we need to restock the stores in times of a national health crisis. My mom works in a factory and although I wish she would listen to me and stay home, she still feels a sense of duty to head into work. My dad too. He works in construction and is still reporting to work every day because it just has to get done. I asked them both to please stay home, worried for their safety as they are older and their health isn’t exactly top notch but I'm not really one to talk to convince them as my husband and I are still also reporting in for work. Although we are in a different situation as both of us are considered essential personel, I still understand my parent's sense of duty. They lived through wartime in Vietnam and experienced having to carry on through tough times. There was no such thing as 'stay home and wait it out.’ They’re used to keeping busy and trying to do their part.

I feel for the families struggling as schools close and they somehow have to figure out childcare or take off from their job as they can't afford a sitter or have any family members or friends who can help. The kids who rely on school for meals and/or a means of escape from a bad home life or an unfortunate situation.

There are numerous jobs that many are still working, risking their own lives and safety so that everyone else has a better chance. Some people have to keep working not because they want to, but because they have to. They still have bills to pay. They can not afford not to work. And not every job can be worked from home and these people still working to keep your life as normal as possible are truly heroes as they put their own lives at risk to make sure the general public is able to get what they need, while their own families struggle to prepare against this global crisis. One of my friends still works in retail pharmacy and because she’s been busy working this entire time, found herself not able to find her own groceries to stock up when she finally got a minute to herself because her usual shopping list of items she needed, were all out of stock because of people panic buying and hoarding. This is the price we pay for being on the frontline.

As you can imagine this is affecting everyone's Iives in some way as our normal everyday lives are uprooted. There is no real answer that will fix everything as there are always two sides to everything and someone is somehow paying the cost for something. If you're fortunate enough to work, you’re also risking exposure, and not being able to shop properly in a time where people are panick buying so even if you're just trying to go to the store for your regular items, you might not be out of luck. If you're fortunate enough to not work and be home safe with your family, you risk not getting paid in this uncertain time. Those fortunate enough to work from home are also struggling as they learn how to navigate working from home as I imagine the transition isn't exactly easy for all jobs and there are challenges faced in all careers and tasks. For those who do have it easy, well, I hope you give a little bit of time and patience the next time you are being serviced by someone struggling as they help you. There are so many different ways lives and life as we know it has been disrupted and complicated because of this viral mess. There are two sides to every coin and story as everyone fights what the right thing to do is moving forward. There is no winning currently without some type of loss or sacrifice in the current state of things.

I’m fortunate enough to keep my job, as healthcare and hospitals are always essential. This is the one time I will say my parents were right when they barred me from going to fashion school and forced me to pick a career in medicine instead but I’ll never say it to their face, as my job has stood the test of time through snowstorms, hurricanes, gas leaks, and now a global emergency. My hospital has mandated an “all hands on deck” policy, barring anyone from vacations for the next two months, at the very least. Anyone trying to travel must make a formal request from the hospital first, as they don’t want you traveling to a high risk area. All entrances to the hospital are now closed off and everyone is required to go through the main entrance to get screened before entering. What this means is we all have to pass a temperature scan before reporting for work, get checked to see if we are in compliance with our flu vaccine, fiitted for masks if required, and sanitize our hands before entering the building. We have suspended visitor privileges for the time being as well. In some areas of NYS, I heard they have asked retired nurses to come out of retirement to help.

Healthcare has become such an essential role in this time, as hospitals get overwhelmed with patients needing testing as well as the usual patients needing urgent care. It’s also become a dangerous place because of the overflow and influx of patients. What I mean is, you could walk in with minor symptoms thinking you have covid-19, paranoid and just want to be tested to be certain, but because tests take some time, you won’t know until a day or two or even a week later, but in that time, you could pick it up during that hospital visit since you’re exposing yourself to a lot when you step in that emergency room waiting to be seen. And then when you get your test results, it can tell you you’re negative for it when you’re really positive because you picked it up after. And because you feel safe, you’ll be less cautious before it’s too late. Imagine everyone doing this and boggling down the hospitals with admissions and testing and now the regular patients with heart problems, strokes, broken bones, car accident traumas, etc, are being delayed care because of this. Think of how long you have to wait in a doctor’s office when you need to be seen for a regular check-up because your doctor is backed up with several patients needing to be seen for various other medical issues. Now imagine that 10X worse because of all this. Please remember to be patient with your doctors, nurses, aides, pharmacists, technicians, physician’s assistants, nurse practitioners, etc. Everyone is working overtime currently to save someone’s life, even if in small ways.

I would never in my life imagine such a mass shutdown such as this. It’s also scary because it shows how much of the government controls our lives. Through mass hysteria and panic, freedom has been limited overnight through the guise of for the greater good. It’s scary because we’re living in 2020 but it feels like the setting of a dystopian novel. I honestly think we’re finally paying for all the warnings we’ve ignored about climate change, the lack of basic human rights, not understanding the importance of access to healthcare to all, how paid sick time helps everyone and not just the sick person, the problems with anti-vaxxers, the list goes on.

But from this, it hasn’t been all bad things. China rushed to build an entire hospital dedicated to coronavirus in 10 days. And while it is slowly recovering from this tragedy and yet, it is still willing to help out other countries. China just stepped in and flew medical supplies and a team of medical staff to help Italy, which became the worst affected nation in the world right after China, seemingly overnight as the contagion came to light there around Feb 21. The US government is slowly trying to figure out how to deal with the current state of things as they change daily, scrambling to make up for lost time, racing to find a vaccine and a plan to stop and contain this rapidly spreading disease.

Despite the looming dangers that threaten our life and survival on a daily basis, I still have hope. I want to believe that we will get through this. That we as humans will stop fighting each other and find some common ground to help fight a common enemy. The scary part is this has never happened before on such a global scale. We really need to work together, do our part and combine superpowers to make it through. I know that we are definitely living in an monumental and important piece of history that hopefully we learn from when all this is over, as life will definitely not be the same when it IS over. But my hope is that, in a few months this will be behind us and in December when I reflect upon 2020, this will feel like a distant nightmare that we barely remember happened. But we will move forward, hopefully with a smarter head on our shoulders regarding the future when it comes to dealing with global threats like this. We need Earth to assemble our own team of Avengers currently to make it out alive, in the form of our world leaders working to combat Covid-19 together and eradicate it.

May the odds be ever in your favor as it sure feels like the Hunger Games, given the current state of things. Let’s hope most of us make it out of here alive. Until then, this begins the Quarantine time of 2020.

The Next Hurdle

January 5, 2020

Would you believe me if I told you 10 years ago I almost dropped out of pharmacy school?

I walked out of St John’s pharmacy building after checking one of my exam grades, in tears. I was really worried about how the rest of the semester would go. I failed an exam of a class that banked on just two exams for your final grade. Nothing else. No homework, participation, etc. And if you failed that class, it barred you from taking the rest of the semester’s classes because of the way St John’s sets up the program. It’s all or nothing, which is a really terrible idea for a program honestly and sets you up for failure. Nevermind that their ‘teaching’ methods are honestly a joke. But back to the point. I was on the brink of “Is this really for me?,” “How am I ever going to pull this off?,” “There’s no way I can pass with a high enough score to even out this failing grade…” I was ready to walk into the dean’s office and tell him that was it. I was done.

So I did. I walked into the pharmacy building the next day to talk to the head chair and… was talked out of it, lol. You know one of the funniest things about St John’s (at the time at least) was that the professors are absolute hell out to fail you, but Dean Mangione and Assistant Dean Joseph Etzel are absolute sweethearts. They somehow talked me off the ledge and back into the fray. I wish I remembered how but all I remember was walking away from that meeting and working towards giving it one last shot. I mustered up my courage to ask my classmates and friends for help and in the end, the people who are still in my life today, are the people that came through. They sent me all their notes, exam study tips, old exams, study sheets, etc. They would text me after their own exam, circling everything they could remember so I would know what to focus on and study. And then in 2012, spoilers, I walked out of those halls with a diploma and pharmacy degree in hand. Later that summer, I passed my licensing exam and was officially a pharmacist.

I did a lot in the past decade when I look back at it. If I had told 2010 me where I would be in 2020, I would've thought she was joking. I mean, I dreamed and had goals but I never really thought I would get it all done. I had no idea back then what it took to plan and execute a wedding. How to buy a car. How to buy a house. Hell, how to take care of your own house as a homeowner. How to take care of shit every time your car decides it wants you to throw more money into it to fix something. How to make your own travel plans. How to travel. How to handle getting sued. How to do your taxes. How to hire a lawyer. How to manage a business like a well oiled machine. How to train people to work the way you want and build a team. How to handle rude and sometimes racist customers hellbent on fighting you and trying to get you to break the law for them. How to fight the red devil and fight fire with fire when being bamboozled by an evil corporation. How to go on job interviews and win them over. How to figure out if the job is right for you and if you're being lowballed. How to adjust to a new job with lower pay but better quality of life in the long run so you downsize to make ends meet. How to live on your own and have to cook and prepare your own meals. How to save and budget. How to entertain guests and throw house/dinner parties. How to go to physical therapy to correct body movement issues so you can run again. How to have balance in your relationships so that both of you are happy. How to set aside time for each other when you're on opposite busy schedules and give the other person room to grow. How to maintain your friendships despite schedules not aligning and how to recognize when to cut the cord on the toxic ones. How to exercise. How to eat clean. How to lose weight and stay on the right track. How to maintain an active lifestyle. How to adult 101. How to, how to, how to.

Every hurdle is scary when you don’t know how to do something. It’s uncomfortable. It makes you feel like giving up a lot, at times. It feels like the little engine that could. You’re just pushing up a hill, worried the whole time that everything is going to crash and burn. Until you finally get through it and you look back and you’re like DAMN. I DID THAT.

And sometimes, like my pharmacy school experience, you’re going to fail. You’re going to fall down a few times and feel like you hit rock bottom. But it doesn’t mean you FAILED-FAILED. It doesn’t mean the end. It just means you gotta get back up and try again. Try something different. Try harder. Ask for help. Look for another way.

This was also me in the past decade as I struggled with my weight issues for a few years trying to find out what worked for my body in order to properly lose the weight I was piling on. I thought cardio and HIIT workouts would help but saw no results. When I finally broke down and reached out for help, a friendly and willing gym member took me on and pushed me through to help me get the results I wanted so badly. I learned discipline, patience and consistency. I learned that weight lifting would not make me ‘bulky.’ And it wasn’t just for guys. It would actually tone me more than any amount of cardio ever would. I learned that my portions were way out of control. I learned to cut back and eat smaller portions and how to select the right foods to lose weight, maintain weight, and to reduce my body’s bloat problems. I learned I actually really like working out and now I continue to do it as part of my daily routine to feel normal and to give me a boost of energy to start my day.

I could go on. There are so many trial and errors, fails, etc that I did in the past 10 years. And they all taught me the same thing, I would say. I am resilient and I am stronger than I know in moments of adversity.

I get asked a lot on how I built such a ‘perfect’ life but there’s nothing easy or perfect about it. My life only looks easy on the internet because let’s face it, no one is posting their failures. But trust me, I’m there struggling and working through it too, like everyone else. I know we all feel like we’re less than perfect but trust me when I tell you that EVERYONE is going through it. The problem truly is that you’re comparing your timeline to someone else’s. But social media is powerful both ways. It also allows people to open up and be vulnerable in sharing their story because they feel courage in other people sharing theirs. It should also give you hope too. If that person can make it through their day despite their obstacles, you can make it through too. Don’t ever feel like you’re less than perfect just because another person on social media’s life looks like sunshine Barbie. You also don’t know what it took for them to get there or what they’re going through. You don’t know their story. But you do know yours and only you have the power to change its course if you don’t like where it’s currently heading. You just have to be willing to put in the work. Remember, no one said it was going to be easy, but I can tell you from my past 10 years of slowly building and putting my life together, it’ll be worth it. And I’m still working on it every day, one small step at at time.

Some of my hurdles for my next decade are conquering my student loan debt and managing my mortgage. Working on building my savings to be comfortable enough for if and when we decide to have kids. And if that happens, that’s going to be an even bigger hurdle on its own. Ideally, I would like to have a kid before I’m 36 if we do go down that path. I would love to have a dragon baby, same as me and my baby sister. But if we choose not to, we’re actually okay with that too. I’d also ideally would like to move out of NY one day and live in another state or another country. I just haven’t figured out the logistics in terms of pharmacy license transfer or just an all around career change. And sadly the places I want to live, aren’t exactly cheap either. But at least my husband is on the same page and willing to move when I’m ready. I’ll always be an NY girl at heart, but I do feel like there’s more out there for me. And if it falls through and I end up having to move back to NY, well, that’s okay too. It’s not the end. It’s a learning process. And when I talk to people who have made the move, it feels doable. I just have to be in a more financially stable stage of life to be more successful at making the move work. I also do have to downsize because if I eventually do move, I don’t want to take everything with me. I actually kind of want to start fresh. I want to work on that this year actually. Getting rid of a lot of clutter in my life. It’s funny because my personality is definitely EXTRA AF, but sometimes I wish I was a more simpler person in some ways. I think I’m going to get rid of a lot of jewelry and accessories and obnoxious VS bras sitting around in my closet untouched. Sometimes I want to throw it all out and hit the reset button. Maybe that’s what my 30s and this new decade is going to be about. Re-invention. Rebirth. Reborn into my next stage of life. My style has definitely toned down a lot since college days of 2010, that’s for sure. Some things have stayed the same and some things I’ve moved on from. I used to be afraid of throwing stuff out, thinking I might want this or need this later on, but I’ve learned to let go. There will always be something else.

I’m scared of failing as I tackle on the next stage of my life but I do believe at this point in my life, I do have enough support systems to help cushion the fall and help me get back on my feet when the time comes. I’m scared of taking the risks I know I’m going to have to take when I finally make the jumps I keep putting off because of my fear, but I’m working on learning to accept the failures to come as well as looking at life as “what IF I succeed?” instead of looking at all the worse case scenarios. I should plan accordingly to WHEN I succeed instead of prepping myself for if I don’t since the failures are just small stepping stones to push me further back up. This is probably why I’m so lost right now. I finished everything I set out to do post college but I never planned for anything after that. I need to set some new long term goals now that the old dreams are no longer dreams. I have no idea what I really want to accomplish in the next 10 years besides getting rid of my financial shackles and then traveling the world with the boy and my loved ones. I am also afraid of setting goals though because of the fear of failure. I mean, you can’t be disappointed if you didn’t have expectations set up, right? But there’s no fun in that. With great risk, there is also the possibility of greater rewards. I can’t and I shouldn’t live my life in fear. There are plenty of people out there with half my potential risking it and killing the game. So I really need to step up and take a chance and get through these hurdles. I need to and want to find more mountains to climb!

What are YOU looking to hurdle through for the next decade? Let’s see where I end up in the next 10 years!