Run For The Wild

March 5, 2020

No rest for the wicked! I just got back last week from my runcation but my next race is 32 days. And then last night my sister asked if I wanted to sign up for the Bronx Zoo 5k with her. I’m really excited about this one because (a) I love the Bronx zoo, and (b) I’m so happy that she felt inspired to sign up for another race after doing the 5k in Disney with me last weekend, with a new goal of hopefully doing a 10k next year! I love that she felt good enough after that race to want to do more. That’s how I feel with runDisney races and it makes me so happy that I’m infecting others with fitness goals, haha! I even met one of my followers while I was at the event, whom I inspired to do races too. It feels really good when you’re able to make an impact on other people’s lives, even if they are small ripples that you’re creating.

Helping people on their way to fitness and better health is a really rewarding way to give back, I feel. And with this Bronx zoo 5k run, we’re doing it twofold. Not only are we working towards a better health, it’s also a fundraiser charity race to help protect endangered species in the world. An animal is picked each year to represent and be the focus of the charity and this year is rhinos! We just saw and learned about rhinos too while we were in Disney, on our Kilimanjaro safari ride. They’re endangered unfortunately due to poachers hunting them for their horns, believing that the horns hold medicinal healing properties. In reality, they’re simply made up of keratin, the same protein that make up our hair and fingernails. So why do saving the rhinos matter? It doesn’t directly affect you and me but they’re part of the circle of life, as cliche and Disney as that sounds. They are a key component in the ecosystem where they are found because they’re major grazers. They help maintain the diverse grasslands they live on, which countless other species depend on, plants and other animals included. The endangerment of rhinos could have a trickle down effect on other species as well if a healthy balance of the ecosystem is not maintained. Other species of animals can be lost too if they don’t have a place to thrive. Rhinos going extinct can have an impact on the population of other animals that depend on rhinos maintaining the environment in which they thrive in, meaning your own favorite animal could be lost too. There have been studies done that show what the lands look like over time due to dwindling rhino populations. Less rhinos results in shorter grass, and less vegetation, and in turn, less growth and natural resources for both animals and the local communities that depend upon the land. I mean, come on, we all saw the Lion King. We saw what happened when Scar took over and disregarded the circle of life and the savanna turned into a shell of what it once was because they over hunted.

Anyways, let’s cut this social studies lesson short. I’m pumped to run this 5k for charity next month and thanks to my friends and followers on Instagram today, I met both my personal and group fundraising goal! My baby sister who also has signed up to run, has also met her personal goal for the run. My sister who started us on this, is still $35 away from her goal. If you’re interested in donating to help us save the animals, please donate in her name to help us reach our goals! Helping her to meet her goal, contributes to the team donations as well so helping her, helps me, which in turn helps our overall teamwork contribution towards protecting the safety of endangered species! You can find our team page here and her name is Trami. If you can spare even $5, it would really mean a lot to us, or anything you’re able to give. And just because we met our group goal, doesn’t mean the fight is over! We are still actively fundraising up until the day of the race next month and accepting donations for anyone else who would love to help, as its all for charity and goes straight to the Wildlife Conservation Society’s efforts for the animals. If you donate, please let me know who you are so I can personally thank you for all your help.💗

Again, I do want to repeat that I’m really humbled by all your big hearts and love today from everyone who took the time out to read, donate, or even share that we’re doing this to help get the word out. Even if you can't donate, letting other people know who can and are interested in helping is a big help to us! My faith in humanity is restored from time to time when I see all you amazing people doing selfless acts of kindness for loved ones and even people you barely know. There are so many good Samaritans left in the world still with such big hearts. It reminds me that I need to sit back once in a while and count my blessings. I need to practice gratitude more. I’m really just in awe of how much love I am fortunate enough to have in my life. Through family, friends, coworkers, strangers, followers, internet friends. And I should be grateful for everything my body does for me, EVERYDAY. Especially after everything I put it through. I GET to wake up, I GET to go work out, I GET to reach all my fitness goals because of it. Even through little sleep and high activity, it was still there for me and pushed me through all 3 days of races. We need to be more grateful of how much our bodies endure and are still there for us when we need it to show up. Don’t ever take your health for granted. Don’t take the love in your life for granted. Don’t ever take any part of what makes you happy for granted.

Goals for 2019 & 2020

December 31, 2019

GOALS FOR 2019

M̶a̶i̶n̶t̶a̶i̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶1̶0̶5̶-̶1̶1̶0̶ ̶l̶b̶ ̶w̶e̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶r̶a̶n̶g̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶u̶s̶t̶a̶i̶n̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶e̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶x̶e̶r̶c̶i̶s̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶l̶a̶n̶c̶e̶.̶
R̶u̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶m̶a̶r̶a̶t̶h̶o̶n̶.̶
- You know what they say; once you accomplished one goal, you’ll just go look for another mountain to climb. See goal #1 for 2020, lol.
F̶i̶n̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶p̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶r̶o̶o̶m̶.̶
- It’s not 100% but it’s pretty close! It’s basically my sister’s room now and pretty livable for a guest room so hopefully we just expand further into furnishing it and putting final touches next year.
Italy in the spring? or Paris in the fall? D̶i̶s̶n̶e̶y̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶H̶a̶l̶l̶o̶w̶e̶e̶n̶,̶ ̶D̶i̶s̶n̶e̶y̶w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ for NYE possibly.
- We stayed domestic for the most part this year but I’m not mad. Did both Disneys so again, can’t be too mad.
Learn to drive stick.
- I didn’t find time to do this since the boy and I are on opposite schedules and rarely have days off together, only twice a month if that so we didn’t really get to use it for me to learn this. One day though.
Finally pick up photography. Learn the basics so I can take and edit my own photos.
- I was just lazy. I’m going to do this for 2020 though! I promise. I just have to sit down and actually read material and watch videos.
Learn how to drive a motorcycle.
- See #5 above.
T̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶p̶h̶o̶t̶o̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶y̶!̶
- I did this! I love this and want to continue this further as we grow old. <3
W̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶c̶r̶e̶a̶t̶i̶v̶e̶s̶.̶
- I did this too! I worked with a few new people this year. It’s really hard to sift through the GWCs and find the gems but I always want to give new people a chance and discover new people to work with because once upon a time I was new too and needed someone to give me a chance so I could grow and develop my own skills. I worked with new photographers, wedding vendors, videographers, brands, and venues. I want to continue this into the new decade too and compare where I end up in 2030. Especially since I started modeling back in 2009. 10 years later and looking back, I definitely grown as a creative myself. Back then, all I had was a Model Mayhem page and barely knew how to pitch ideas to get photographers to work with me. If you asked 2009 me, she would never have imagined that her portfolio today would look the way it does now. Hell, I never even thought I would make it to be fully blonde because of how many hair stylists originally told me it can’t be done.
F̶i̶n̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶p̶h̶a̶r̶m̶a̶c̶y̶ ̶C̶E̶s̶ ̶e̶a̶r̶l̶y̶.̶
- I sat down in September and raced the hell through this! I’m so glad I locked down on it and got it done. Now I can rest easy for my renewal period in 2020. I still got my superpowers.

GOALS FOR 2020

Disney Princess Fairytale Challenge: 5k/10k/Half back to back
- Don’t ask me why but I’m excited but terrified at the same time. I know I run nearly every day but taking all 3 on back to back is nerve-racking. And for some reason, I noticed at the beginning of a race, whether it’s a 5k or a half, I get really nervous and feel like I want to drop out and give up. I have no idea why since I can obviously do this and know I can do it because I do it on the regular. Race jitters.
CUCB 10 miler
- This is scary too because this will be the first race I’m doing on my own as my friends and coworkers missed the deadline to sign up. I thought about backing out but at the same time I really do want to do this and race through those cherry blossoms in the spring. Plus it’ll make for a beautiful quick weekend getaway.
Disney goals: Empty Main Street photo, 4 park challenge’
- I don’t know if I’ll actually get either of these done during February because of all 3 races back to back so early in the morning so I worry about energy levels to stay up late enough to get the empty photo done and energy levels to do all 4 in one day but we’ll see.
Learn the basics of my camera already.
Wear more green.
- I worked on a big goal of making my photos rich in color and color schemes when it came to coordinating wardrobe and background but the one color I didn’t really wear much of was green. Let’s change that for 2020! I’m a color queen when it comes to my feed so let’s live up to it.
Work on upper body strength to be able to handle/pull up my own body weight: chin-ups, pull-ups, push-ups, dips, planks. Work on flexibility to be able to do a split.
- I want to be able to lift myself up if I’m ever hanging off a cliff, with my life on the line. It’s the few things in the gym I can’t do so let’s tackle this on too.
Find new places to shoot that I haven’t shot before yet.
- I worry about it getting monotonous and boring that I keep shooting at the same flower fields and places every year. I want to find more places on Long Island to explore and more nooks and crannies in NYC, as well as my travels.
Work on a balanced relationship with food. Wean myself off checking the scale obsessively.
- Self-explanatory. I want to stop the guilt mentality that comes with eating, and stop placing so much value on a number.
Closet makeover. Get rid of cosplay, downsize further from clothes and items I haven’t used/worn in past 5 years.
- I’m over the cosplay scene. With the exception of a few items, I want to get rid of everything and clean my closet up. Get rid of the dumb posters and make this room look more polished.
Cut down credit card debt. Hopefully get rid of it and get back to a clean slate by the end of 2020.

REFLECTION ON 2019

Travel - I didn’t travel anywhere new this year but the cruise did set me back a bit. I don’t regret it because I really love that I finally got to check off a Disney cruise off my bucket list and experienced it for myself, but had I not taken the trip, I would probably have made a nice dent in fixing my credit card debt rather than making more dents into the debt. So for 2020, I’m going to try and put traveling on the backburner for now and focus on fixing my financials to get them back in order first. It makes sense anyway because the vacations I want to have require more money, time and research. I don’t want to make repeat trips because I didn’t have enough funds the first time to do everything the way I want. Not that I don’t want to go back to certain places more than once, but like how I relentlessy re-did cosplays over and over because I wasn’t happy with them the first time, I don’t want to keep wasting my time revisiting a place because it wasn’t how I wanted the first time. I’d rather wait, and be able to afford it and go on the trip I want, the way I intended it the first time around. No more shortcuts and compromises.
Blog Growth - This year was filled with collaborations, content, outreach, engagement, invites. It was a nice year of growth and learning how to network and navigate public relations with brands, venues and companies. I get rejected and ghosted a lot when I reach out for collaborations but I also found that for every one that wouldn’t work with me, there were still many more opportunities reaching out to me, asking me to work with them and wanting me to stop by and visit. I tried to do as many as I could fit in my schedule. I really didn’t expect all this to happen so I’m grateful for these opportunities when they do come my way. I still don’t have a central theme like fashion, makeup or travel or anything unfortunately, as I’m still all over the place with my writing and posts. Maybe 2020 will be the year I hone in on this and find my niche.
Exercise - Last year I worked on losing weight, this year I worked on maintaining it and staying in shape year round, with slight weight loss a few weeks before each trip to give myself wiggle room for impending weight gain. I’m really proud of myself though to finally laying down good habits because I really did go to the gym nearly every day this year. I only had a few days off a month, if that and mostly on days where I went to the city to work on shoots, gram tours and content for my blog. I practiced at least 60 minutes of active time a day (mostly 2-3 hours in the gym but if I was strapped for time then I made sure I did at least 1 hour of activity), and averaged about 15-20k steps a day. I told myself I would stop running after the half but here I am today still at it. I run at least 5k when I do a short run and I try to do at least one 10k run a week. During the spring and fall when the temps were moderate, I was running 10ks every 2-3 days. I worked a LOT on my endurance and stamina. This is a huge step up from last year as well as my active life overall in general. I really hope to continue these habits into the new decade.
Diet - I feel like I’m still working on this but it’s forever a work in progress. I do make a conscious effort to eat more protein and less sugar and carbs. I’m also more conscious of watching my portion sizes. I go back and forth still from diet days and cheat days. For 2020, I want to continue with diet control and smarter eating. I want to aim for eating clean 90% of the time and reduce my cravings further to eliminate moments of weakness. I do notice the difference in energy levels and physical well-being when I’m eating clean so hopefully I can cement that into my mentality to make that better choice.
Photoshoots - In 2017, I had set a goal of doing at least one shoot a month and since then I kept the same goal and fulfilled it. In 2020, I want to continue this, but hopefully build upon it even more and step up my game further as well. Last year I said I wanted to show that ordinary places could photograph extraordinary, to show that you can turn any place into something magical through photos. You can take beautiful photos anywhere as long as you have a good eye. And that’s what I did. I used everywhere I went as a natural backdrop for shoots and worked it. Although I worry sometimes about running out of ideas, wardrobe and places to shoot. 2019 was so good to me in all the opportunities I had and all the places I got to shoot. I worry about peaking and not able to come up with more. I’m not sure how yet but I really do want to up my game further for 2020. I want to do more new styles, find newer locations I haven’t shot in yet and work with more new people to expand my network. I want to expand my body of work further and build upon my forever evolving portfolio.
Adventures/Time Spent With Family/Friends - This year was packed with even more dates with my sisters! I enjoyed this a lot and I really hope to continue this trend next year. I’m excited for our trip in February and now my mom’s coming too! We also spent this past year taking my parents out to eat a lot and showing them new places and spending time with them in general. It’s a big shift and change in our family dynamic compared to how we were growing up with our parents. Wounds are healing and new relationships are forming. There have also been some rough bumps in the road along the way this year unfortunately but we’re working on it. I learned that sometimes, you have to let people learn some lessons on their own. You can still love them but you have to stand aside and let them figure out situations on their own. You can say all you want but in the end, the individual will make their own life choices and you have to either choose to live with them and see how it plays through or lose them. I’m afraid of losing this person in my life so unfortunately I have to sit tight and let this one ride out. As for my friends, we didn’t get to really spend time as much as I would like to but I’ve also come to terms with this. Again, you have to give people room to grow and find their own path. Everyone is not on the same path and that’s okay. I miss the old days where we would do everything together but I know one day when we all have it figured out, we’ll be together again. I do appreciate the times when the stars do align and we do get to make time to see each other once a month or so. I’m rooting for my loved ones to excel in everything they’re working on so it’s really amazing to sit back and watch them work on their goals and see them make their dreams come true, one step at a time.
Downsizing - I feel like I did pretty well this year. I sold a lot of my dresses, donated a lot of clothes, and didn’t shop as much as I usually do. I didn’t have any big purchases or hauls. When I do shop, I do try to consciously choose versatile pieces I will use again and again. I try to find pieces I can invest in that will last more than a few wears/seasons. I want to continue this trend further into 2020 and start working on a new mindset for the next decade of my life. When shopping, I’m going to try and limit myself to just a few trendy pieces for the season and ask myself before purchasing if I see myself wearing this more than once. Will I use this again? If it’s a one and done look, drop it. If it’s something that can be styled and restyled and last through time and become something classic, then definitely purchase.

2019 was a great year, even though I didn’t go anywhere new or did anything “groundbreaking.” Like 2018, it was another year of personal growth. The personal wins were still groundbreaking to me. I mean, I still can’t believe I conquered a half marathon. It seems like forever ago but it was just 10 months ago. And I thought it was the end but it only set me up for another challenge to take on, hahaha! And I worked extensively on my portfolio and honestly loved a LOT of the work I did this year. The quality in my photos has improved and I’m walking away with a lot of my top favorite photos ever created, from this year alone. I put a lot of work into this blog this year too with all the emails and networking and research. When comparing my 2019 me to my past self, I would definitely say I leveled up further. And that’s what you’re supposed to do. Don’t compare your timeline to other people’s timeline. The only competition you have is yourself. Conquer your weaknesses, improve upon your strengths. Unlock your potential and tap into your power.

Did I peak in 2018? I mean, how much more can I do in 2019 to step up my game in everything? But you don’t know if you don’t go. I’m ready to jump into 2019 and see what great things lay ahead. Cheers to 2018 and it’s great gifts, and here’s to what the new year will bring us!

I wrote this in last year’s reflection and it’s funny because although in retrospect I feel like I definitely didn’t peak in 2018 but further stepped up my game in 2019 and did even more that I’m proud of and expanded further in my portfolio and everything I do, I’m still afraid of this for 2020. I mean, it can only get better from here, right? And yet at the same time, I worry that 2020 might not live up to everything I rushed to do so far in life. I’m scared but excited to see what new unexpected challenges and opportunities are on the horizon for me. For those of you still following along and reading, thank you truly for following me on this journey! Let’s sail into 2020 full force and show this bitch who’s really boss.

BFFs

June 8, 2019

In your entire lifetime, you’ll make a handful of friends. You’ll make childhood friends, school friends, college friends, work friends, neighbor friends, family friends, acquaintances, friends through networking, the list goes on. There are friends who you’ll click with immediately. There are friends who you hate at first and then the relationship grows into something unexpected and strong. There are friends who you can only handle in small doses. There are friends who you will eventually burn bridges with and part ways. There are friends who you find out were never truly your friend, but friends out of convenience, or because they wanted to benefit from you and use you in some way. There are friends who are actually frenemies, keeping you close because ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer,’ as they are secretly wishing your demise. There are also friends who you part ways with amicably simply because you grew apart. There are friends you lose because someone moves away and you lose touch. There are friends where you can go long periods of time without speaking to each other simply because different lives and paths, but when you do reunite when stars align, it’s like you never left each other. You pick back up where you left off. And there are also friends you speak to everyday.

There is no one answer to what kind of friendship you will have and experience. You live and learn. Not every friendship is perfect. And your friends may not always understand what you are going through.

I’ve been through a lot of friendships in my life and admittedly, I’ve burned a lot of bridges myself. But when I look back on them, I realized it was their time to end. A chapter on my life closed. Not all friendships are meant to last. Every person in your life is meant to teach you something, as hard as the lesson is to learn.

I learned that people are fickle. A best friend may leave you because they are not mature enough to balance friends and lovers. They may also be petty and seek revenge in their ex by befriending all their ex’s friends and thus you become a casualty in that battle because your friendship ends up on the back burner as they try to steal someone else’s friends.

I learned that people can also be very selfish. Thinking only of themselves and their own feelings in a situation with no consideration for others. And when confronted, are too immature to see beyond themselves and thus play the victim.

I learned that people can be shady as all hell. They will take advantage of your kindness and generosity and possibly your entire family. They’ll treat you like a friend but another family member like dirt. They’ll also be cheap as all hell, paying down to the exact penny when everyone else is generous and magnanimous.

People can also be fake. Being friends with you out of convenience for a time. When your use has expired or all dried up, will move on and no longer care about putting effort into the friendship. You’ll see they were walking on eggshells simply to get what they wanted and needed. And then walk out.

But the trick here is to not let these experiences mar and poison the good friendships you do have. Do not let those bad people scar you into thinking everyone else is that way and mold you into a bitter, unforgiving person, not giving others a chance. And don’t let it distract you and have you end up neglecting your existing friendships. Don’t punish those who are standing by loyally and steadfast. Those people are your BFFs.

Your BFFs will stand the test of time. You may not always have time for each other but you work to make time. Because you make time for what’s important to you. And who’s important to you. And you’ll cherish when you can, whether those moments are rare or abundant in your life. The funny thing is I’ve always taken a lot of pictures. But looking back, I wish I had taken even more photos of me and my friends over the years. Of the good and the bad. I really love looking back and remembering all the fun times and even the not so fun but crazy times we went through together. They were still great because we went through it together. From struggling poor college kids to thriving adults, we’re in this adventure together. Money buys a lot of things, but it doesn’t buy you time. Time with those you love the most.

As I start to walk into my 30s, I’ve weeded out the people I don’t need in my life, valuing quality over quantity. I only want to make time for those who add value to my life and enrich it. I want to go on trips and make memories with my closest friends and family. I feel bad because this is what I should have been doing all along. Devoting more time to those who will stay long term. But you live and you learn.

I don’t completely regret all the friendships that have ended, for they happened for a reason to reinforce the importance of everyone else in my life that has stuck around to this day. Invest in them. Love them. Tell them. Hug them at every hello and goodbye.

Happy National Best Friends Day.