Headspace

October 20, 2021

Lately I've been feeling off. Or rather this entire year has been amiss. Despite keeping busy and keeping an ongoing itinerary to distract myself, it catches up with me. I don't know how to describe it. I've been feeling overwhelmed. Unhappy. Heavy. Trapped. Sometimes I feel like I'm screaming and no one can hear me. Or they choose not to. I've found myself waking up at night sometimes in a ball of sweat crying and anxiety ridden. It's been a lot of bad dreams lately. And what they all have in common are things that go wrong.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if I just didn't exist. It used to be just a random thought when I get depressed occasionally but it's becoming more common as I struggle to fight and keep the demons that get in my head at bay. Because sometimes I just want it to end. I don't want to deal. I don't want to fight it. What am I living for? What does it matter if it doesn't feel like I matter.

Sometimes I think I need help. I need therapy. But I don't know where to start.

Sometimes I want to start over. But I'm also afraid to. It feels like things are broken. I want them fixed but sometimes it feels like you're up against a wall and no matter how much you try to fix something, it just keeps fighting you wanting to be broken.

Nothing is going the way I want it to. And I'm tired of fitting in spaces for other’s comfortability and still falling short.

I just want to feel seen. But because I don't feel seen, I also want to disappear.

Help. I'm tired.

Fall Activities 2021

October 1, 2021

I’ve been in a rush to get all my fall activities done because October is a busy month for me with birthday activities with friends, keeping up with Dopey race training (which admittedly, is getting a lot harder than anticipated) and then preparing for my annual Disney trip, which this year is very, very special because my entire family is going! Last year my sisters and mom made it to the races to cheer me on, but my dad and brother couldn’t make it. This time, we were able to coordinate everyone to be off so we could vacation together. I had a great time with my family a few years ago when we took a cruise vacation together so I’m really looking forward to spending time away with them again. It's also my 7 year wedding anniversary with my hubby! When it rains, it pours. My fall calendar is booked.

Here are some fall activities for the 2021 season if you’re looking to get your basic bitch fall tingz locked down for those perfect gram pics. I tried to keep costs down as much as possible since I’m on a budget saving for the upcoming October trip so I looked for mostly free and cheap, fun things to do.

Waterdrinker

I’ve visited this farm many, many times before ever since they started doing tulip fields in 2018. They’ve expanded to having festivals every season now and so many activities especially for the kiddos. I’m just here for the gram but I can definitely attest this place is very family friendly and you can easily spend your day there so the price of admission is worth it. I love this spot bc it's a one stop shop for all things fall and the staff is always so friendly and welcoming even if I’m just there to take pictures.

They’re open 7 days a week, usually 9-5 but check their IG as they update there the most up-to-date info, or call before you go for updated hours due to weather changes, etc. Weekday visits are best for low crowds and better photos but weekend visits are best if you're visiting more for the activities like the hayrides which only operates on weekends.
$15 admission gets you access to the sunflower field, corn maze, mini golf, playground for the kids, farm animals, hayrides and food trucks on the weekends, and more. Kids 2 and under are free.
Pumpkin picking is free to enter and beautiful for fall pics! They have a pumpkin house, windmill, wagon, and giant wooden shoe if the backdrop of pumpkins alone weren't enough to satisfy your perfect fall pic needs.
U-pick pumpkins are 75¢/lb and in a field already cut for you to easily select the best ones. I prefer this to trudging through a field and having to cut them off the vine myself, which I've done in past years and gotten all my cute clothes dirty and it took forever to walk around and find the perfect ones. Also easier and cuter to find a bunch to arrange in a heart for fall photos. Or even if you're simply looking to buy certain size/shape pumpkins as they're sprawled out in similar sizes and shapes organized together.
Of course the farm stand of their local produce and potted plants and flowers is also available, free to enter and shop! I always get my mom flowers from here for her garden.
Roasted corn, lemonade, small snacks and baked goods are available on the premises and there is a brewery next door if that's your thing!
I only visited the pumpkin patch during this visit but there’s a million photo ops literally everywhere you turn. They even have photo stand-ins - the pictures where you stick your head in. They have things you can climb on, sit on, backdrops, signs, everything. There’s no way you won’t leave without a cute photo.

Lewin Farms

This was my first time visiting this orchard and going apple picking. I usually stray away from apple picking because the admission fee and how little you get wards me off. I understand supporting small businesses but sometimes the price of these fall activities are pretty costly that it’s just not worth the experience to me. Store bought apples are cheaper and I’ve never really had an issue to begin with to taste the difference but I figured I’d give it a shot this year because why not, cute pics for the gram, right? Anyways, I went with this farm because they didn’t charge an admission price to enter. You just pay for what you pick which I thought was very fair. The price of the apples per pound was comparable to how much organic honey crisp apples are at the store anyway so what did I have to lose. The orchard was very straightforward and no frills, but that’s probably what keeps the costs down so I’ll take it.

Call the farm before you go to make sure apple picking is available for the day so you don't waste a trip. All info is updated on a daily automated recording when you call, with the type of apples available as well. They’re open every day except Tuesday. Farm hours are 9am-5pm but last field entry is 4:30pm.
You only have to pay for the apples you pick($2.25/lb), there's no extra admission fee or minimum of apples you have to purchase. I like this as I can imagine it being expensive for a family with small kids going in to have to pay admission and then each person gets a bag and then you end up with more apples than you can devour before they go bad.
They provide you with a plastic bag but you can also bring your own cute brown bags or reusable bags and baskets. You can also purchase a big basket for $5 to pick them in if you plan on getting a lot of apples. My small brown bag was heavy enough so I can't imagine carrying a big basket through the fields. The field was HUGE and there was plenty of apples everywhere.
Be cautious of the ground though if you have kids that like to sit, crawl, play, etc. I went to sit for a pic and almost got caught in some small but prickly thorns so just be cautious.
I also highly recommend weekdays visits for low crowds and the best pictures.
These apples were delicious and even my hubby who usually doesn't eat apples tasted the difference and enjoyed them.
Cash only! The stand and a few other farms on the North Fork does not have cashless payment so plan accordingly for your trip.
Remember to dress cute, have fun and happy apple picking!

Salem

Now this next part is a little different. This one is not local to Long Island, but it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for the past few years. We made a quick trip up to Salem and Boston this week for the gram. Yes, I know. My husband rolled his eyes too, lol. When I requested these dates off for work, my scheduler asked what I was doing and I honestly told him I wanted to go do IG hoe shit, lol. I wasn’t lying. But visiting the Salem Witch House, as ridiculously fast as it was, was something I wanted to check off my list for a bit. And the last time I was in Boston for PAX, we didn’t really get to do anything because it was so cold, we couldn’t even walk around. Unfortunately it was raining the day we left for Salem so that part was cut extremely short. I literally had a 15 minute window where the rain stopped luckily as we got there and we even found a parking spot right outside the house, parked, got out and shot real quick before it started downpouring so we left and got lobster rolls. BUT! Mission accomplished.

Because we got there so late, the Witch House was already closed, but I wasn’t really considering the tour anyway. Reviews online said there’s not much inside, it’s very small inside and everything you can read online and you can’t take any pictures. The staff seemed pretty short with people according to reviews and rush people out pretty quickly. So your best bet is to just take your photos outside and go. My getting there so late had it’s pros and cons. Since it was closed, the place was pretty empty and I had no problems getting my photos without being rushed by other visitors. But I also had to battle with not having proper light for photos since it was late and rainy. Luckily there was a small streetlamp that helped light me up and everything came out even better and moodier in black and white. The house itself is actually kind of underwhelming in real life. It’s a lot smaller than I thought it was. I mean, it was still a decent sized house but compared to all the other buildings on the street, it felt the smallest. Although it’s so funny on that corner, you could almost miss it if you didn’t know what you were looking for. We were driving and all of a sudden were like OH. That’s it. We’re here. That was fast.

And if you walk one building over, you’re right in front of the Ropes Mansion, which is the house in Hocus Pocus. That one was a little trickier because there was absolutely no lighting around but my husband’s night sight on his phone wasn’t too bad in getting the shot and making it look spooky. That’s all we got to do though before the rain picked up and downpoured. Hopefully the next time, if there is a next time, I can walk around more and visit Chestnut Street, the Witch museum, the House of the Seven Gables and the Burying Point. Salem is supposed to be very walkable too so hopefully there is a return trip for me to do it all in. Late September was also still too early to visit for fall foliage so maybe next time I'll try mid October.

Boston

The next morning we spent walking around in Boston before leaving early to make the ferry back to Long Island. There was traffic all around us getting worse according to Google and if we missed it, then we would have to drive back the long way. The ferry is expensive but a nice break from all the driving.

We spent the morning near the Chinatown Gate, had brunch at Tatte Bakery & Cafe which is a cute chain around the Boston area, browsed the Brattle Book shop, walked through the Boston Common and visited Acorn Street in Beacon Hill. I basically tried to find the most Instagrammable spots in a small radius so I could maximize the time we had to spare before heading home. I loved the book shop we visited. Everything felt like a rare find for really great prices. There’s something I love about old books and bindings and pages and colors that a tablet will never be able to match. I used to always want a library growing up and I love the aesthetic of walls and walls of shelved books. I know, I’m such a nerd. The Beacon Hill area was highly recommended by a MA local and it didn’t disappoint. The area was very old school, beautiful and perfect for the gram. And it was perfect visiting on a weekday because it was empty enough for us to get our photos quickly without disturbing the neighborhood.

My advice here would be to give yourself maybe 3 days instead of 2 if you’re looking to visit the Salem/Boston area so you don’t feel too rushed to have to head back home. Especially if the weather is not on your side. I had also requested these dates off back in August. The fall foliage prediction was that it should be peaking around this time but alas no luck. Next time I would try for early/mid October just to be safe. All in all, it was still a fun trip and now I know what to do for next time.

What about you? Any fun fall destinations or bucket list items you’re looking to check off your list this season?

The Floral Escape: Fall 2021 Edition

September 30, 2021

Happy Fall!

Surprise, surprise, I’m back again at the Floral Escape. This time, it’s their 1st birthday since their debut last year. If you’re tired of hearing about my visits to them, then pass on this blog post but if you still love pop-ups and photo ops for the gram and anything rainbow as well as basic bitch fall season stuff, then this is right up your alley and scroll on. As for why I keep coming back, I’ll be honest, I am simply invited as a guest every time they do something new and honestly, this company has been great to work with and the people working the venues are friendly, helpful and a great team. So it’s always been one of my highly recommended pop-ups. And honestly for it’s $20 admission price, you get a lot of photos for how many setups they have and if you’re creative enough with the angles and creativity, the possibilities are endless for content. I would definitely put this on the list of pop-ups that are definitely worth their sticker price.

So the quick lowdown:

The fall edition is at their flagship location at the Queens County Farm in Queens, NY. Parking is free which I always love and appreciate, because honestly being a New Yorker, I hate having to pay parking on top of admission. They have a big and ample lot too, but if you’re visiting on the weekend, I suggest getting there as early as possible to make sure you get a spot, especially one up close to the entrance.

The pièce de résistance of this year’s fall edition is the rainbow pumpkin house. This pumpkin house popped up a few years ago at a New Jersey farm and looks like it’s trending all over now. I’ve been to one out on Long Island this season already and looks like The Floral Escape decided to hop on the trend as well and make their own version, which I absolutely love because it’s a blend of fall and my love for all things rainbow and colorful. Rainbow Halloween! All the other installations were very similar to the spring 2021 edition I visited back in May, but with a fall makeover (i.e. swapping out the taxi for a vintage pick-up truck, the archways are now covered in fall themed colors, the swing is now covered in sunflowers instead of purple roses, etc).

Everything is outside so I’d recommend visiting early in the season while it’s still warm if you don’t want to bundle up too much in your photos. If you prefer to sweater weather it up, I’d recommend waiting a bit for the temps to change. They still do not have bathrooms or changing areas on site so if you're interested in doing multiple outfits like a lot of the influencers shared on their gram do, then I'd recommend bringing your own changing tent if you're not traveling in your own car. Or get creative with easy interchangeable outfits you can throw over or under something.

Anyways, if you visit, have fun, take some cute pics and happy fall!