America, The Beautiful

July 4, 2018

Today is July 4th. I honestly feel conflicted as an American for a number of different reasons.

I'm working today but I don't mind because I've never really minded working holidays. I also work in healthcare so there's really no such things as "holidays" there. When you work in careers like this, you're always there because this is what you signed up for. Like 911. There are no holidays or off hours for things like that. But I'm greedy and I enjoy holiday pay so I don't mind working holidays. The only downside to today is because of the nature of the holiday, my ER might be busier than usual because of firework injuries, people drinking and driving, etc. Please be safe always but more so during holidays so that you don't hurt others around you.

I have a love hate relationship with being American, especially in this day and age. The first thing I struggle with is my identity.

I'm Vietnamese by blood but an American citizen. And honestly, I identify more with my American side because that's how I grew up. My parents emigrated here when I was one, so American culture is a big part of how I grew up despite my parents trying to instill as much Vietnamese culture in me. I talk like a New Yorker, I dress like an American hoe, and I have more modern American ideals and values than my parent's traditional ways. But the way it's always been is that I never fit in either hood. I will never be Asian enough for my Vietnamese side no matter what I do, nor American enough for the US. I get shit from both sides. For the Viets, I can speak the language, eat the food and everything but I can tell from my mom's friends they consider me more like my trang. And for the Americans, my eyes will always be too small for them, even though by Asian standards my eyes are actually particularly large. My body type is also too fat for the Vietnamese standard and too skinny to Americans. You just can't win. But I've grown out of trying to please either side. Nowadays, my style and nature confuses both sides because of how wacky I dress.

Regardless though, I do enjoy identifying myself as American. However, during this nation's controversial times, I do also feel a sense of shame and disappointment as well. It's hard to celebrate today because of all the hate, injustice, discrimination, and inequality going on.

I wanted to shoot red, white and blue fashion looks this summer and I did but I also felt conflicted while doing so. But at the same time, I remember that while there is a lot of ugliness going on in the country right now that makes me ashamed to be American, there is also a lot of love still left in the country and there are still MANY Americans out there doing good for this country and fighting for the rights of women, POC, LGBTQ, immigrants and all those who can not fight for themselves. And there are many countrymen working hard to protect the rights and liberties of us Americans so that we can have a better life and live the American dream. And that's the part that makes me super proud to be an American. Despite all the darkness I see the country clouded in and the division, I have hope. I see the little changes here and there and I see the compassion that a lot of Americans still have to help other people and the passion they have to fight the good fight and it's truly inspiring. This country was founded by a brand of brothers working hard to achieve a common goal of freedom to build a better life and world for their families. That's what today is about.

I want to make a difference to someone one day and be the reason they don't give up. I want my own story to inspire people and show them that small ripples still have big effects. And that you can still make it and achieve your goals, no matter how small.

My mom and dad came here when I was one and we had nothing in our pockets. Today we are a family of seven, with 4 kids having survived and completed college and one just graduated high school this past month. From packing meager homemade sandwiches to school, we now are able to treat our parents to nice bougie restaurants and go on nice vacations. My parents still live like they're on food stamps hoarding every little thing but the reality is we no longer have to. They worked hard and taught us to work hard and build our own lives. I'm still working at it but I think I've done pretty well for myself so far even if I am struggling to keep my head above the water.

The American dream is still very much alive. You will stumble upon many obstacles on your way but adversity is what helps to build our character and gives us strength to move forward. And we should always be aiming to move forward even when others are trying to hold us back from growing and getting better. Rise above and live it everyday.

Happy Independence Day, America! You are so beautiful in your melting pot of diversity and land of opportunities.

Pint Shop Tasting Session

July 3, 2018

I wrote about the Pint Shop almost a month ago when they first opened. You can read about it here. I went back this weekend with my best friends so that we could experience it together, the three of us.

Side track for a minute: If you're not familiar with me and my friends, it's usually me and my two best girls, Physics & Knives and Kaylessi. You'll notice they're in a lot of my photos and adventures with me. Together, we make the Bitches of Cosplay. We're just a trio of girls who have been friends since high school and college. We're all on different paths but we try our best to make time for each other despite adulting hiccups. Recently we've slowed down in cosplay to focus on our real lives.

Back to the Pint Shop. I originally visited on June 7th, their second day of opening and I also visited on June 30 and let me tell you, both visits were very different. So this post is kind of like a follow up review.

The first visit was on a Thursday but I did anticipate it to be busy since it was brand new. I imagined the weekend would be crazier since I had to wait about 30 minutes or so to get in the first time around on a weekday. So what we did naturally to avoid this wait was book a tasting session. Tickets are sold on showclix and are similar to purchasing NYCC tickets. The virtual queue is a wretched place and it's the luck of the draw if you can get in and get the day and timeslot you want. It was sold out within the hour after tickets released for this booking period.

If you have tasting tickets, you get to skip the line and go straight into the shop so you can make your appointment on time. And obviously once the tasting is over, you have immediate access to the rest of the shop. Being a weekend and that it was 100 degrees this past weekend, the tasting tickets did come in handy for being a skip-the-line ticket so we weren't standing outside dying in the sweltering summer heat waiting to get in.

Once in, we had to wait a little longer since the previous session was still cleaning up and getting ready for us. We took advantage of that time by snapping quick pics in the shop. I noticed that the shop has definitely changed since I was first there. They removed some items like the giant pink gumball machine, and some of the cute merchandise was no longer available like the sprinkle pool plushes. The area in front of the Museum of Ice Cream sign was no longer vacant and Instagram friendly for photos, but replaced with red tables and chairs for people to sit, lounge and eat their ice cream. Honestly, I hated this because it not only took away from the photo opportunity but allowed people more time in the shop as they can sit and loiter longer, making the line outside grow even more unbearable.

The giant pints were also different. The bananas that were there last time were 2D bananas, carefully patterned and coordinated. This time they were replaced with plastic toy bananas and scattered in no particular aesthetic pattern but just there. It looked kind of cheaply thrown together compared to what it originally looked like.
The last time I was there, the sprinkle pool pint had lost its swing on the second day! I chalked this up to a guest breaking it. But this time, it was fixed and available for cute photos. So this was one good difference.
The final difference was another bad one though. Last time, the cherry pool pint was FILLED with cherries for you to dive into and take cute photos and boomerangs. It was that deep that you could even bury yourself and a friend inside. This time? It was a joke. The cherries were unrecognizable! They looked like giant cherry pits because they had been smushed since opening. The cherries were all being squashed by all the people going in and out of the pint with their shoes on and people not being careful. And not only were they flattened, but there was significant less of them and you could see the bottom of the 'pool' visibly. You could no longer bury yourself and "swim" in it; You could tell this was not being maintained or replenished to keep up with the original intended look. And it wasn't even a full month yet! There was still a huge line for the cherry pool but from the looks of how pathetic it was, we passed this time around. I really wish they had taken care of this better. But the rest of the shop, was in a similar array. You could see its wear and tear after only a humble 3 weeks. It wasn't being maintained very well.

But the main point of the visit besides taking photos for the gram in the shop, was to experience what the tasting had to offer. The shop itself is free to visit as long as you're willing to wait on a first come, first serve line, but the tasting tickets were being sold at $33 a pop with a $4 service fee on top. It does come with a free pint of ice cream of your choosing, however I didn't really care for this perk since I couldn't really bring it home with me anyway since I come from Long Island. I could do without the 'free' pint factored into the ticket price. I'd rather get a coupon for the ice cream for when I can purchase it when it becomes available in Target. I loved the pink lab coats but you don't even get to keep them, nor are they available for purchase.

The main question - is the tasting worth the splurge? Let's be real. $37 is a lot to shell out for a 30 minute tasting session. While the tasting experience itself was fun, I don't think it was worth its sticker price. Honestly, I think it's just an overpriced skip the line ticket. It goes by too fast and honestly there is not much to the tasting. You can do without it and it wouldn't take away from the free experience of the Pint Shop itself. I had a better time on my first visit here when it was just the Pint Shop itself, without the tasting. You should just go with waiting outside on a slower weekday day to visit the shop rather than pay for an overpriced skip the line ticket into a free shop unless your only option is to visit on a weekend and that day happens to be the hottest day on Earth. The experience of the tasting itself is interesting to learn, but it's all facts you can google. And the 'tasting' part itself where you learn how they make and develop flavors isn't anything to write home about either. Sure you get to try all the flavors, but you can do that in the shop too. You're allowed to sample all the flavors available at a cart inside the store. I sampled 4 of them the first visit, and this time, I was able to sample all of them. I would say Cherrylicious is probably my favorite flavor. Churro Churro is pretty good too.

I was honestly disappointed by my second visit to the Pint Shop. The tasting was a let down and the lack of upkeep and maintenance in the shop has left me disillusioned. We were also rudely told to leave after an hour of being there by one of the managers there. He was upset with us because we had a DSLR and taking a lot of photos, but isn't that the point?!? We weren't the only ones with DSLRs and this place was built for that to help generate more publicity and popularity through people sharing their photos of their visits. I understand there are people outside waiting to come in, but we had spent money on their highway robbery tasting tickets, as well as the overpriced novelty merchandise, so honestly we should have been able to freely roam and spend as much time as we pleased. But that's also why the store is not a ticketed experience but rather free and open to the public. You're allowed to browse as much as you like. Even if there was a time limit to how long you can stay in the shop, the man who shooed us out could've been nicer at handling the situatin.

Don't get me wrong, I still love the Pint Shop and would visit time and time again, but only because it's free. The MOIC LA ticket was $29 and there was a whole lot more to experience at that exhibit than a simple 30 minute tasting session and a few cute aisles, that's for sure. It's the only pop up I've experienced actually that I can say was actually worth its price.

Do yourself a favor, I still recommend stopping by and experiencing this pop up, but you can really forgo the tasting. Go on a weekday, during off peak hours and with a friend who knows how to take fire shots for the gram so you can maximize your experience. And try to steer clear of that rude Nazi that monitors how long you spend in the store, but not how much money you spend.

Here's the kicker. As poor as this experience was, I'm headed back there in another week for the ice cream social, hahaha! What is wrong with me.

Butterflies

June 27, 2018

I don't know why or what it is but after all these years, I still have the same butterflies I had when I met him outside of class back in middle school and high school.
I loved going to school because I was just so excited and happy to see him before class, between class and on some days, after school. For those quick few minutes between us, I always felt a rush. Like that excitement before the ride starts, before the first day of school, like being the first one to open up a brand new book, that moment before you blow out the candles on your birthday cake with your fingers crossed hoping your wish comes true. I know these sound like weird feelings to think of, but it's like little bursts of happiness and anticipation. I just enjoyed spending those quick little moments with him because they were simply with him. When you're with the right person, everything just clicks. And you don't care what you're doing as long as you're just with them because anything with them is worthwhile.

Sometimes I forget how amazing and special my relationship with him is. And all that we've been through and all that he knows about me and how he's stayed with me through everything. I'm really lucky to have him and for him to be so hopelessly head over heels in love with me. He's supported me throughout the darkest of times - from my issues in high school with my dad, the pressures of school and my grades throughout senior year to maintain my rank, the stress in college of financially affording it as well as the stress of trying to survive through the terrible D&D years and not drop out of pharmacy school, the roller coaster that was CVS where I sailed through dark waters for 3 years trying to find a way out, my wedding and house stress, to the more recent issues with my depression with my weight. There's a lot more I just don't have time to think and list them all, but he's been there. Throughout all the bridges I had to burn to light the way to where I am today, he's stood by them all watching me and supporting what I chose to do.

Sometimes I do wonder why he's still around. I'm not an easy person to be with, I would say. I do require some effort, a little more attention than normal at times and I can be reckless, difficult and stubborn. But he's still here and kicking. He still does everything I ask him to when I need him, even if he huffs and puffs, in the end, I usually get my way and he takes care of what I need. It's incredible to find someone like that. That is willing to do anything for you and want to make you happy. Sometimes even at the cost of their own happiness. If you find it, don't let it go. It's precious and rare. These are the people you want in your lives.

He does a lot and I'll admit sometimes I just don't give him enough credit. Sometimes I am a terrible person who doesn't appreciate what I have and realize everything I need is right there in front of me.. He's been working hard for the past year trying to re-align his goals and skillset to a different career path. That's hard. I say this because I don't think I would have the energy or motivation to do something like that. He took the time to switch gears and invest in it so that he can try and build us a better home and life. It takes a lot to be able to stand up and do that instead of giving up and just being complacent. I hate job searching and starting over. It's a lot of stress and the waiting game is hard for people who are impatient like me. I'm really proud of him for being able to do all this. He's been working hard, flipping his schedule all the time and being more responsible and accountable at his job.

And it feels really freaking good to know that I have his support and that he's so proud of my own accomplishments in the gym. I feel really proud of what I've done but for him to acknowledge it and be proud of me too feels really good. It's really important to have support where you need it most and when you need it most. Shit gets dark sometimes and it's hard to ask for help and support because you don't want to look weak but it really helps when your loved ones are able to support you in your time of need.

So how do you keep your relationship afloat and fall more in love with your significant other on the daily? I honestly don't have a clue. I just do and it just happens.

Every time a silly love song comes on the radio, I ALWAYS catch myself smiling and thinking of him immediately. Sounds lame, right? Well, this is how I feel every day waking up with him. When he wakes up for work and leaves, he also never leaves without coming back to bed and kissing me before he finally walks out the door. Meanwhile I'm that asshole like Sailor Moon who is constantly late for anything in life so I'm always bolting out the door in a rush so I don't do cute little things like this. But the fact that he does, gets me every time. It's the little things. You don't think they get noticed, but trust me, the other person is watching and noticing everything.

A relationship can be hard but it's also a lot of fun and definitely worth it. I've been with the boy for 18 years now and I swear I grow more and more in love with him everyday. It takes a lot of patience, love (duh) and having open lines of communication.

My closest friends and family know that we are two totally different people - I still don't understand or know how we got together and grew so attached after all these years despite it either. Truth is, we are nothing alike in terms of interests, tastes, style, movies we like, how we dress, etc. We are so polar opposite. We met in 7th grade, set up by our respective bffs at the time, "dated" for a month, broke up but then spent the entire year still friends and talking on the phone everyday until we finally gave in to our feelings again and got back together when we entered high school in 9th grade. And here we are today. It was all an accident somehow in how we discovered each other and never could seem to stay away from each other.

You also have to respect one another and agree to disagree a lot. I do a lot of things he hates, and I don't agree with him on a lot of things he likes either. I also hate his facial hair while he absolutely hates my blonde hair, hahaha. I can't stand being in Home Depot, which is the equivalent of torture for him waiting for me to try on clothes at the mall. But there's a lot of compromise and there's work involved. But when you do things for your other half just because you just want to make them happy and see them smile, well that's just the greatest feeling in the world, honestly. When you love someone so hard, nothing else matters but seeing them smile and being with them.