Weekend Adventure #20180602

I spent this weekend with my siblings to celebrate my sisters' birthdays. I have two twin sisters and a baby sister, all of whom are younger than me. I'm the oldest, but probably the least in touch with reality. Actually, if I think about it, my entire personality is an anomaly. I'm the oldest of 5, most adulting and somehow, I'm still not an adult. I dress like I might as well be the youngest sometimes. 

Anyways, we got together to celebrate my baby sister turning 18 and my twin sisters turning 25. I put together a gram bucket list walk for us that day before our lunch date. Basically, I picked a bunch of places that we would walk to and explore, for the gram. And yes, I shamelessly compiled them from watching other IGers explore NYC. I'm not in the city as often as I would like because I do live kind of far so I figured let's get hit it all at once or as much as we can. These are the lame adventures I go on. You'll learn through my blog a lot of my life is smokes and mirrors, lol.

The first stop of the day was Dominique Ansel Kitchen because I wanted to try the Watermelon Soft Serve. They had it last year but only for 2 days, neither of which aligned with the stars for me to come try it. That's another problem with NYC sometimes. A lot of the stuff is really limited in terms of quantity or availability. I wanted to try a Jasmine ice cream a month ago and this ice cream shop only had it for legit one weekend. Like WTF man. Not everyone's availability is so flexible that they can just say fuck work and hop off to grab highway robbery millennial ice cream at the drop of a hat. Anyway, I learned that day that Dominique Ansel Kitchen and Dominique Ansel Bakery are not one and the same, lol. They are distinct different locations and the watermelon soft serve was only being served at DAK. We got there early in the day and there was no wait or line. There were plenty of seating available so we were able to sit, relax, enjoy and snap pics for the gram. The actual dessert is pretty good. The taste and consistency is somewhere between soft serve and an Italian ice, I would have to say. It's a refreshing unique dessert for a hot summer day and its presentation is really cute. Although $10 is really steep for a small dessert. The actual watermelon slice is huge but the soft serve part is not, I'd say. I wouldn't say it's worth $10 but this is also Dominique Ansel. These are bougie treats. 

The second stop of the day was Laduree. This was a fairly quick stop since I was simply craving macarons since I finished the ones I bought in Paris. I used to get them all the time from Payard but since they closed down, my supply line has been cut off. It's funny because I haven't had them in a long time and having them again from Paris made me realize how much I do miss and enjoy them. I got one of each flavor to try and I'm curious to try the bubblegum macaron. So far, rose macarons have been my favorite. The shop is so pretty, I wish my room looked like this. It's so French and regal and girly and dreamy. We're thinking of bringing my dad here for Father's day. Not exactly very "father-y" but we figured maybe we should try something new for my dad since he enjoyed trying new restaurants and foods on the cruise we recently took as a family. Plus my baby sis wants to try it and well, am I ever going to say no to an occasion to get dressed up for an Instagrammable meal? Let's be real. Total photo op. 

The third stop was the Magnum Pop Up shop in Soho, which was literally around the block from Laduree. It was here last summer but again, I didn't get a chance to stop by last year. I wanted to go for the rainbow ice cream bar but they won't have it until pride week so fingers crossed I have an opportunity to come back up for it. That's another thing. Every year I want to go to the Pride Parade but I always forget to plan ahead and take off from work to go. And of course, for the past 5 years, I've always worked on the day of the parade. Blargh. Note to self, take off next year! 
Anyways, I got a pink chocolate ice cream bar with rose petals and raspberries. Truth be told, I just wanted a cute pic for the gram after seeing it on @feedyourgirlfriend's feed but it didn't come as nice. The girl who made my bar waited too long to place the toppings on so it didn't stick to the ice cream as nice and stable for a pic. Gram fail. Hopefully when I come back for the rainbow bar, it'll come out nicer. The ice cream itself was delicious though. Albeit, I do think the bar was too small for $8. But again, you're paying more for the presentation and experience, not so much the product. The construction of my ice cream bar was like performing surgery. They even use tweezers to meticulously place on your desired toppings, as well as several trays to put it all together. It was a process. The store even has little mini booths with lighting and backdrops for you to take a selfie of your creation. This is how extra this generation is. 

The fourth stop was the Galeria Melissa shoe store. I was introduced to this store by my friend Christine sometime after graduation. It was dangerous times. I started buying overpriced bougie jelly shoes. I own 4 pairs now. I do have to say though that the quality is very good. I wore a pair all through Paris on my trip last month and they still look beautiful regardless of how much walking, dust and dirt I trudged through. I don't even see wear and tear on them despite it all. My crystal flats are still beautiful as well and I've had those for 5 years now, without any crystals missing. The shoes themselves are very comfortable too since they're a soft plastic material. And they smell so good, lol. I know this is a very weird thing to say, but the shoes are scented and smell really nice. Kind of like bubblegum. 
I didn't stop by the store to buy or even look at shoes, ironically though. I was on a mission. They installed a cute room for selfies for the gram. I stopped by vainly for that. It was free to stop by and take as many pics as you'd like. The guy at the front door was also giving away buckets of candy. I've never had a bad experience in that store. Everyone is always really nice, friendly, and patient with you as you shop or browse. I love that stores nowadays have cute photo walls or rooms like this. It's a really smart way to draw customers in and create foot traffic as well as free advertising as Instagrammers share their pics. 

After Melissa, we finally headed to Pardon My French for lunch. I love the decor of flowers everywhere, although the loud music blasting is odd for lunchtime. The service was good and everyone was really nice and attentive and accomodating. I had steak and they cooked it perfect. It was so good I ate it all. Man, I love steak. I can't imagine why people don't eat meat. I didn't climb all the way to the top of the food chain to eat a fucking carrot. Nor do I care about the whole "humans can sustain on non-meat foods" bullshit. I could never go vegetarian or vegan or any of those restrictive bullshit. I love food too much to restrict myself. It was hard enough eating healthy for the past 6 months, restricting myself on my favorite delicious and savory foods. 
Back to PMF, they were so nice! I forgot my sister's candles at home and they provided candles for our cake as well as gave each of my sister's complimentary chocolate mousse. They do a really good job at birthdays with sparkler candles. Everyone was really upbeat and nice. I would revisit for dinner in the future to try the dinner steak if the opportunity ever arises. We also brought our own cake from Stax, which was really good as well. I had them make it half strawberry creme and half ube. Man, their flavors are delicious. I tried the new lychee flavor when picking up the cake and and man, I can't wait to go back and get a cone with it. The lychee flavor is really present and delicious and not artificial tasting. And I love how colorful and bright their flavors are. 

After PMF, we walked over to Big Gay to try the Cheetos ice cream before they took away for the month. It's an interesting unique flavor, but I would have to say it's not for me. I'm not a fan of salty ice cream I'd have to say and the cheetos salty flavor is odd to me for an ice cream experience. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. Not a fan, unfortunately.

The rest of the night was just walking to more places for the gram. We found a cute small storefront called Rose and Basil where I snapped a few quick photos, and I finally was able to hit up the Yumi Kim wall without any trash impacting my photo op. Last time I stopped by to try and get a picture for the gram, the bins were unfortunately filled and overflowing. Maybe it's for the better because my outfit this time was also a lot nicer than when I first went. And yes, I was extra and changed outfits after lunch, LOL. We even stumbled upon a cute art gallery about dreams and doing what you love. It spoke to me because I feel like I'm still trying to figure out my dream and calling in life. And trying to overcome things thrown at me. I don't dream as big as other people in terms of fame and fortune, but I do spend a lot of my time trying to do what I love and focusing on my happy. If you don't take care of yourself first, who else is going to? Make sure you're in control of your own happiness. 

The last stop of the day was CTea NYC. We wanted to try the New York green apple milkshake for the Instagrammable donut but it was all sold out. I had the Paris drink while my sister had Kyoto. The drink was actually really delicious and I love the hint of rose in it. It was so good. I would love to go again and try their fruit teas. The cafe is cute but unfortunately not all the tables have the same cute decor for your gram shot. This one hoe was sitting at the best table in the shop taking forever taking pics of herself with her boyfriend, but instead of taking a bunch of shots, she kept taking one at a time and reviewing each one before continuing. It's 2018. Take a bunch and review later, bitch! Even I'm not this inconsiderate when taking vain pics for the gram. I snap, snap, snap and move on before it becomes too long for someone else to have a shot at the sweet spot. She wasn't even cute. She was so basic and generic and old lady looking, it hurts. She legit sat there for a good half hour hogging all the cute decor and the table with the best lighting. Eventually Christine walked over when they stopped taking pictures and took the props for our own use. 

After, we walked over to Pietro Nolita for another quick gram shot and then I stopped by the Gumshoeart mural to snap quick pics with my friend Jason Laboy. You can view the photos from the shoot here! It was a very fast shoot since Jason was already working with another friend and I was basically crashing before I left the city for the day, but the pictures came out awesome. I loved how the originals came out in 2015 and I love how this second set in the series came out. I hope to one day be able to afford and own a piece of Gumshoeart to hang in my house one day. I love her work. 

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The next day I had to drop off the boy at the airport. He's going to be away for the next couple of weeks training for his new job. He's cute. He texted me missing me 3 hours after he took off. I hope he's going to be okay for the next few weeks without me. He hasn't gone without me in...........forever. Since college ended, I think we've always been by each other's side. He's cute though. He can't bare to be without his wife for too long. I'm going to miss him too but you know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. <3

After dropping him off, I spent the rest of the day with my mom and baby sister. I haven't taken my mom out to eat in a while so I took her to one of my favorite summertime resturants on Long Island, Porter's On The Lane, since I found that they brought the lobster roll back in time for summer. I also love their strawberry lemonade. It was a little chilly Sunday so unfortunately we couldn't sit outside on the veranda and dine comfortable so I sat inside, which is nice too but I love outside dining. We also tried the crab cake, which was absolutely delicious. There's basically nothing I don't like at this place. 

Afterwards, we stopped by the mall for my mom to do some returns and of course in typical RxBarbie fashion, one does not simply go to the mall without a once through at Forever 21. I found some cute piece for summer and snatched them up. And like the day before, I changed into another outfit for the remainder of the day. I grabbed Bambu on our way out. Bambu is basically my favorite drink place. I'm not crazy about bubble tea like most Asians. I basically only drink water but I tried the che drinks at this place back when they opened and it was so bomb I kept coming back. I love coconut juice and I love that they put fruit in their drinks so it's like a refreshing dessert. The Bambu Special is my go to. If I could drink this everyday, I would. I should probably learn to make my own che at home. Growing up, my aunts used to make a pitcher and leave it in the fridge in the summers and I would drink/eat out of it constantly. The only unfortunate thing is these drinks are very sugary, and fruit is a lot of sugar too, which isn't great for my diet. So I can't indulge in these too often to maintain the hard work I put in these past 6 months on my body. These are going to be a once in a while treat and only on cheat days for me. But so worth it. 

For the last leg of the day, I drove out to Patty's Berries and Bunches to pick up peonies. My coworker texted me earlier in the day that peonies were back in season finally at the farmstand near her house. I love peonies. They're such a beautiful flower. I love that they were everywhere in Paris. I fell in love with them after seeing them in Gossip Girl. I love everything about Blair Waldorf. 
I picked up a big bunch for $12.50 which is the cheapest I've ever paid for peonies and especially straight from the farm fresh peonies. In the city, they're always like 3 stems for $10 and even in Paris, they were expensive (although less than in the US, funny enough). The boy always pays an arm and a leg getting them for me. Next year when I go back, I'm going to buy a whole bunch to fill my house. I bought my mom a potted peony for her to plant in her front yard since she likes planting flowers, while I like bouquets to keep inside the house. I probably should plant one outside my yard too but I have a pretty pink one already on the side of my house that was planted years ago and now it's a nice big bush with multiple blooms and only growing bigger and more each year. It's just on the side of my house that I never see unfortunately. Maybe I should plant one outside my window or my mailbox. Next year I'll go back and pretty much buy the farm, lol. It was a nice day with my mom and sister. The rest of the day, I simply drove my mom and sister back home and my mom made dinner for me and I spent the rest of the night watching Coco with my sister. 

I told you in the beginning. My life is boring. But to me, it's not boring. I find joy and happiness in the little things. I did a lot of stupid things this weekend, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I really love spending time with my loved ones. Sometimes I don't realize it, but I'm a lot closer to my siblings than some people and we all are able to lean on each other and rely on each other for support. We have a lot of fun together and it's always a nice time. I'm looking forward to more adventures and time with them as we get older. Cherish your loved ones always. You never know what tomorrow brings. 

Time is always limited amongst my friends and family and it's very hard to align schedules. But when it does, it's beautiful. I'm looking forward to this summer and making a lot of memories. I can't wait till the boy gets back and we can go kayaking sometime this summer. I started going a few years ago after seeing my friend Jamie do it and I really enjoy it. It's therapeutic. I'm also hoping to be able to plan and put together a rafting trip in the Poconos towards the end of summer and attend the Lantern Fest. I want to release a lantern in the sky like Rapunzel! 

Okay this is a lot for a blog post about mostly nothing, lol. Hope you enjoyed the pictures. Till next time.  (Oh yeah, in case you didn't know, you can click on the pics in the gallery to view the whole thing, not just the cropped version. You're welcome to those technologically challenged stalkers scrolling though this.)

- RxBarbie

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Prom

Today was my baby sister's prom. I helped her get ready and styled her hair and look. I really wish I had these skills years ago but the age I grew up in was not the golden age of social media sharing and YouTube. Today, you can learn how to do almost anything on YouTube or by simply googling a tutorial. Hell, the age I grew up in, I barely wore makeup not only because my mom wouldn't let me wear it (because hello, oldest child gets most restrictions growing up) but because there was barely any available at the time. We also live in the revolution of makeup as well in this day in age. Back then, all you could find was pencil eyeliner, mascara and those rollerball lipglosses at the dollar store. White eye pencil on your waterline was all the rage at one point. Looking back, I have no idea why peope liked this look. I was guilty of it too. 

I also had no idea how to use a curling iron or do anything with my  hair other than tie it into ponytails. So basically I saved up money to get an updo done at a professional salon and my boyfriend's (now husband) sister did my makeup for me. Prom was really expensive. It still is, but with my skills and knowledge now, I could probably cut a lot of the costs in half. Especially since there are a lot of nice dresses on cheaper sites now too. There are still really expensive overpriced gowns but looking back, I don't think my prom dress was worth it. I loved it at the time but there are so many more beautiful, detailed, crystallized dresses now. I still like the color though. I loved the baby pink. 

Funny thing, my baby sis also wore pink for her own prom - blush pink. And wanted flowers in her hair just like I did. Except I didn't have long hair at the time, nor was braids popular back then, especially for formal hair. Now it's a nicee, soft, romantic look in this day and age. She wanted a Rapunzel inspired look so I gave her a pull through braid combined with a fishtail braid. I curled it before I started to give her hair more volume and soften the look. It came out pretty well. We added some simple accessories to pull the look together, but still keep it more about her own natural beauty. 

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Looking back at my own prom pictures, I like how colorful my group was. But I would've probably picked a different dress. But my options and resources were limited and I had to work with what I had. Today the internet is a great place to search for pretty much anything as long as you can dream it. You can get a dress made in your size or even order a custom one of a kind piece off Etsy. Even Forever 21 has a nice formal line and wide selection of appropriate evening wear. 

Looking back, would I still go to prom knowing what I know now about this American tradition? Yes and no. Yes because I did enjoy the experience and felt like it was a bucket list thing for me to do and be a part of. I had a fun night with my friends all dressed up and snazzy. It was my first formal experience with the boy and I did enjoy it a lot just being with him, and then being able to spend all weekend with him. When you're a teenager, all you want is time alone with your boyfriend, especially when you have overprotective parents that don't let you do anything or even have friends over or even have friends, actually.   

I say no because there were a few mishaps. Prom didn't go swimmingly smooth for me. There was a lot of drama between friends and I actually ended up losing a friend over a guy that weekend. It was a lot of aggravation and a stressful time for me during the last month of school losing what I thought was one of my best friends at the time. Looking back, I don't care anymore because we actually did try to be friends again years later in college and it just didn't work out. Over time, we simply grew apart and lost interest in each other in a mutual way. I'm not sad about this falling out, but the original fallout during prom was the more painful of lessons to learn. 

I learned that not everyone has good intentions and not everyone knows how to balance the dynamics of relationships between friends and boyfriends. And not everyone will respect your wishes. It would later be a recurring theme throughout my life where the girls in my life were simply not mature enough to balance both guys and friends. I'll admit, I am very selfish when it comes to my time and I learned I am very selfish when it comes to wanting my friends to still make time for me even if they are in a relationship. Is this wrong? I don't like being dropped over a guy because I won't do that to someone else. But another friend also told me, my kind of friendship is very rare. I value friendship a lot more than most people and my loyalty is both my best trait and my downfall. And when it's betrayed, it affects me very deeply. When I love, I love hard. But when I hurt, I also hurt just as bad. No one likes to be let down and lose someone they cared about. But like everything, time heals all wounds and this too, shall pass. And it did. I can say today I'm no longer affected by this incident. I look at it now as a learning experience and how it was the stepping stone to making me a stronger person. I started learning after this and other betrayals that I needed to not give myself out so freely. In both a good and bad way, it helped mold me into a meaner but stronger person. I also stopped trying to want to be everyone's friend. I became more selective of who was deserving of my time. 

I used to think that I would stay friends and in touch with the people I went to high school with. I don't know why I thought this way. I used to like everyone too. Now I hate everyone, lol. I don't talk to anyone from high school, except like 4 people and two of them were in my wedding and are my best friends still to this day.

High school is a funny thing too. I was known for being weird and out there because I dressed funny, and I wasn't very pretty or attractive, I'd say. I didn't break necks, that's for sure. I doubt boys thought about me. I was really weird compared to my peers. I didn't share a lot in common with most people. I had to actually hide my interests because what I liked was considered "lame." 

But now is a different story. I'm constantly stalked by a lot of people - they think they slick but I see you constantly watching my stories even if you're not publicly "following" me on Insta. And it's been confirmed by other friends that some high school people stalk my online activities now, jealous of my glow up, especially girls that used to make fun of me because I liked to wear furry Spice Girl platform boots to class. Yeah bitch, I see you and your fake fan self trying to pretend to like Pokemon now and all the shit I always genuinely liked and nerded out about. Although I don't get these ghost stalkers. Some of them are guys with girlfriends or wives too. Sometimes I think of screenshotting their stalking activities and sending it to their others, lol. But I either haven't cared enough to get to this point or I haven't gotten bored enough with my time. 

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My baby sister is the last of us 5 kids to finish high school and the last of us to attend prom. It's funny because I was the only kid actually really excited and wanted to go to prom. And my mom actually wouldn't let me because she was scared of American culture and the dangers of letting her daughter out with white people. And I actually wasn't going to go but the boy actually stepped in and refused to let me miss out on prom. He didn't want to go to prom at all, don't get me wrong, most guys don't really want to attend this, they're just dragged there by their girlfriends, but he didn't want me to regret not going. And so he did something really sweet. He had money saved up to buy the new xBox 360 that was just released but instead put it towards buying me a prom dress. He even took me shopping, surprising me one day after school when we had a half day due to midterms. He asked his mom and sister to take us out that afternoon to find me a dress. This selfless act will always resonate with me and I will forever love him for it because it showed to me at a young age how much he really did care. He put in a lot of work and effort to help make prom happen. I ended up being the one in charge of the limo and prom group and it was the first time I had to handle a big group of personalities and it was seriously a lot of stress especially when it came to collecting money to make sure everyone paid for their spots, but the boy was there every step of the way to help me. He helped to book and arrange weekend plans post prom too, which was quite an experience as young kids learning how to book a hotel room and travel to NYC and navigate our way around. In these days, it's so easy for kids but back then, it was challenging to learn. 

When it came time for my other siblings to go to prom, it was a different ordeal. My brother didn't even decide until legit two days before that he was going to go. I had to help him rent a tux last minute and my sister who was head of the AV club and working prom to film it for his senior class, threatened the vice principal that there'd be no prom footage for senior video if she wasn't allowed to have my brother come along with her. I guess this is where it started that she learned to be a bully, lol. 

My twin sisters, I'm not sure they really wanted to go to prom, but one of them didn't. She wasn't crazy about wearing a dress or makeup or getting all glammed up. But I talked her into doing it to at least experience it and I'm glad she chose to in the end. Her dress was bought last minute too, lol. They both looked really nice and it was fun taking them dress shopping and putting together their looks. 

All 5 kid in the family have now experienced prom, except that my mother has no idea that I went, lol. I mean, not like it's going to do me any harm now if she finds out. I'm grown and live on my own and I'm married so what's going to do now? But that entire weekend, I lied and said I was away upstate for a Student Government trip. I even forged a legit permission slip and everything. NO RAGRETS. Not even a single letter, lol. 

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Intro

I figured I should probably start with a little bit more about myself. I imagine most people coming here are from my Instagram but of course, every so often we  have someone new to the rodeo and aren't familiar with my brand of humor, sass and personality. Some people like to try me and you know what they say about playing with fire. So if you don't like what I post, let's start right here by showing yourself out the door. I'm not a nice girl, but I'm also not a mean girl for no reason. All that aside, let's begin!

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I'm RxBarbie, which I prefer to be called by unless you are a close friend or family. I'm 29 and slightly terrified but slowly becoming okay with turning 30 soon. I'm the oldest of 5 kids and my mom is terribly mad at me for still not giving her any grandkids because I'm still too busy YOLO-ing. I work in healthcare and although I did not initially go into the field for any genuine interest or passion in it, I've grown to appreciate and like my job. 

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I don't know what my story is. Maybe it's a Vietnamese-American Cinderella story. Oh yes, I'm also Vietnamese. But I was born in Thailand because my parents were in a refugee camp at the time trying to make their way to America to seek a better life and escape aftermath of the war even though it was long over(Just because a war is "over" does not mean its people do not have to deal with repercussions years later but that's another topic for another time.).  I emigrated here with my grandfather and my parents when I was about one. I grew up pretty poor but my parents always made sure we had enough to eat. My mom made all my clothes or collected hand me downs from family friends or searched through church donations. I stood on line with her at food pantries and watched at the grocery store as she filled out WIC checks and bought food for all us kids on with food stamps. We really did start at the bottom. But it helped me learn the value of the dollar and to work hard to build myself and my family a better life. We struggled so that we could build a better future for ourselves. I did really well in high school but not so well in college. I almost dropped out. It was one of the wake up calls in my life that I needed to get my shit together. And I did. One of the things I've learned going through all the trials in life that I've been handed, is that no matter how much something sucks or how hard life seems, I can get through it. "This too shall pass" has always been my mantra. 

I'm still not rich today but I do consider myself pretty successful in all my endeavors.  I don't look like it but when it comes down to it, I would consider myself a pretty simple girl. I just want to be happy. I set out to do a lot of things and I've done most of it for the most part. I built my life from the ground up with my own two hands. 

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The funny thing is, besides paying off my ball and chain student loans and mortgage, I don't have much in terms of goals right now. I accomplished most things I set out to do already. The last thing now I guess is to start a family but the problem there is, I'm not really sure that's the path I want, at least not for right now. I just want to have fun and go on adventures with my loved ones. It doesn't take much to make me happy. I love eating - I'm a foodie, and I love taking pictures. I love dressing up - I will gladly do it for almost any occasion or even no occasion at all. I like putting together outfits and looks and photo documenting everything as you can see from all my social media accounts. I'm also very vain, guilty as charged. 

I originally had my career goals set on fashion back in high school. But upon senior year while I did get into FIT, my parents refused to let me choose that path. It was medicine or bust. I didn't want to go to medical school. I knew I didn't want to be trapped in 12+ years of school. I have a family friend who's much older than me and she's still going to school. Plus I don't deal well with blood and I didn't want to touch people. I like helping people but I didn't want to do all the dirty work nurses and doctors do with direct contact with patients. Don't get me wrong, I give them mad props for what they go through everyday, but it wasn't for me. OB/Gyns make a lot of money but I knew there was no way I wanted to look at, or even touch that shit all day. I don't have the stomach for it. 

In my senior year budget project for Economics class, we had to put together a whole portfolio of how we would survive in the real world with our chosen profession. I looked up several careers in the medical field and I stumbled upon pharmacy. It fit everything I was looking for to please my parents. It was about 6-8 years in school depending on the school, which I considered doable, and the salary was pretty decent. When I plugged in the numbers in how I wanted to live, bills and all, it worked out. So after the project was over, I actually started looking into it as a major for college since I had yet to decide on one. Luckily a few of the schools I applied to actually did have pharmacy as a major. In terms of the workload and dedication, I had no idea what I was in for, honestly. So yes, it was quite a rude awakening at the time when I crossed that bridge.

I also didn't know much about pharmacy other than retail stores. I didn't know about all the different settings you could work in like industrial, business, hospital, government, etc. It's funny because at the time I only knew about retail and thought this would be the rest of my life. When I got there with my hand in the actual field and on the job, it was okay at first until corporate started getting more and more ridiculous. I quit after about 3 years and switched over to hospital. So far I find hospital better than retail but sometimes I wonder if there's something more for me out there, either pharmacy or something completely different. But at the same time, I struggle with change. Sometimes change is good, but it's scary to take that leap. It's human nature to be afraid of change but they do say the most growth happens when you leave your comfort zone. I'm slowly doing that in my life with other aspects but I've always been a play it safe person who likes the comfort of knowing what's going to happen and calculating my every move before I make the jump, so it's hard for me to become more of a person who's willing to take risks. I wish I was though. I really envy some of my peers who were able to take chances and succeed. I went to high school with a friend who is now living it up in LA, streaming on Twitch regularly and making a living off of simply playing video games on the internet while people watch and donate and subscribe to his stream. Another friend from high school plays Smash all around the country. I watched Jessica Nigri go from simple congoer with her original Pikachu costume all those years ago when cosplay was not even a thing yet, to making cosplay a full time career traveling all over the world. I was there when Michelle Phan was the first makeup YouTuber showing girls how to wing their eyeliner, to now having her own makeup company and empire. And now all these girls on Instagram that get paid to go to beautiful places around the world and take beautiful photos of them traveling. The funny thing is, I don't yearn for this fame. I just yearn for the ability to do what you love and get paid for it. I like pharmacy and enjoy my job, but I can't say I LOVE it. But at the same time, I wonder if I would be able to handle that. I'm always afraid that if you turn your hobby into your job, you lose your love for it when it becomes more work than fun. Maybe I just haven't found that balance yet. But I'm also not 100% sure what I would love to do and get paid for it. Is living in Disney a full time job? Le sigh. 

Glow up from my ugly duckling self but trust me this isn't my final formPhoto by Chris Lobello Photography

Glow up from my ugly duckling self but trust me this isn't my final form
Photo by Chris Lobello Photography