Pride

One day I swear I'm going to make it to the Pride parade. I've wanted to go for the past 3 years but it's always fallen on a day I work.

I've been in the city all month on my days off and seeing the city all decorated in rainbows makes me so excited and happy. I love color. As much as I've tried to explore black and white photos, I've always ended up loving everything in color more. And that translates to everything in my life too. Nothing is ever really black and white for me, there are so many shades and flavors and facets and OMG, THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST. 

There's so much to see and do in the city during Pride Month and I hate living so far away because all the events are exclusive to one day or a certain week or time frame. I want to experience it all!  

I've always been a supporter of gay love because I simply do not see it any different than "regular" or "straight" love. I myself would identify myself as straight but I honestly see no difference in loving a man or a woman. You love who you love and it doesn't matter to me who you love as long as you are happy and healthy and it doesn't hurt anybody. It has always been a controversial and taboo subject in history, but truth is, same sex relationships are nothing new. They date back to ancient times in many works of art and history left behind.

I also don't see why homophobic people are so bothered or why another person's relationship can affect them in any way. Like why do you lose sleep over someone else's orientation? How does it affect your life in any way? It doesn't. Just because your neighbor likes apples while you like oranges, doesn't mean you should attack them in any way until they like the same things you do. We are all different and our own personal preferences and interests are what set us apart and make us different. I hate when people spend so much time and effort trying to make others assimilate to their liking.

But maybe that's why I identify with pride culture. I grew up always feeling different from the other kids. I was the only Asian girl in my school district growing up and because I looked different, I got bullied a lot and made fun of for how I looked. The common racist thing kids would do to me growing up is pull their eyes to side and say "ching chang chong." This was really hurtful to deal with growing up, I'm not going to lie. It was hard being singled out and mocked and pointed at. It made me hate my features a lot and felt like I could never fit in. 

Looking back now, I realize this was stupid. It's hard to tell a child to not to let these things get to you of course, but when you get older, you realize how ridiculous you are for letting these kids dictate how you feel. I know now that these remarks were made out of ignorance and terrible parenting of not teaching your kids to respect and be open to other cultures and their differences. You need to teach your kids that differences are beautiful and to be celebrated. Not to stereotype and pass on racist biases. I hope that if I ever have a child, I can teach my child to love others and be tolerant, open minded and respectful of other people's cultures, traditions, and customs.

You don't have to always agree, but you do have to be mindful of other people's beliefs. You have no right to intrude upon other people's happiness and well-being. What do you get out of making someone else feel like shit anyway? I never understood this of people. But they say misery loves company. For some reason, some people just get off on making other people feel like shit so that they can feel better about themselves. But if this it the type of person you are, it's really sad and pathetic that your happiness lies within making others unhappy. I feel sorry for you if that's what it takes for you to feel good about yourself. 

But I'm digressing again. The point is, I don't see my 'gay' friends as gay. I just see them as people. And all people deserve love and to be loved. There shouldn't be any laws around it or your rights as a person. That's stupid. Laws regarding love should simply be against the law, as ironic as that sounds. And they're not any different from you and me based off their sexual orientation. Two of my closest friends are gay and they're the most amazing, loving, caring, selfless people I've never met. They recently welcomed their first child into the world and it's so astounding and heartwarming to see how beautiful they are raising their daughter. They love so much and they give so much. And that's actually a lot of what I've discovered of the gay community as I befriend more and more people. They are some of the nicest, open minded, welcoming, tolerant people I've ever met. Compared to other people I've encountered in my life, they're the ones that have never made me feel different for how I look, how I dress, my nationality, my quirkiness, etc. They actually judge me a lot less if at all. I've never felt uncomfortable around anyone in the gay community. I can say I actually felt like I can be more of my truer self and let loose and not worry about what people think. 

I went to DragCon NYC last year and it was honestly one of the nicest cons I've ever been to. Everyone was like GIRL SLAYYYYY and YASSSSSSSS! I've never felt a more welcoming crowd. I'll be attending again this fall and I couldn't be more excited. They make me feel like it's normal to wear glitter on an everyday casual manner. Because, well, why the hell not? 

In real life I'm always asked what I'm dressed up for, or that I'm too dressed up or I'm too extra or my personality is too loud. But in the pride community, I always feel like a queen, hahaha. Like this is how we're supposed to normally be. My homeostasis is just glitter 24/7 if the norm would allow me to be. I swear, next year I'll just take the whole damn week off to celebrate and support my beautiful babes! 

Till next time! 
- RxBarbie

Weekend Adventure #20180616

For a variety of different reasons, I'm basically grounded in NY for the summer but I'm still determined to have a good time. Although, actually I rarely ever go anywhere in the summer if I think about it. Summer is never a good time to travel because it's a busy season for travel since school's out. It's expensive too. Plus it doesn't make sense to travel when it's already warm where I'm currently at. Long Island summers are beautiful. I live right by the water so the beach is a simple 15 minute ride away. The city is a few hours away if I want to take a ride in to play there for a day. There are beautiful farmlands and flowerfields right next to me too. Sometimes I take living on Long Island for granted. 

The funny thing is, it's always been around too but only now am I starting to appreciate all I have around me. Up until my late twenties, all I did on Long Island was go to the mall and movies. But as you get older, your priorities and outlook on things shift.

My mom sent me to Vietnam in 2009 because she wanted me to meet my grandmother before she got too old. At the time, I was ungrateful for the opportunity and didn't take full advantage of my trip. I just wanted to spend the summer with my boyfriend. I didn't take as nice pictures as I should have on that trip. Hopefully next year I'll get to make my second pilgrimage to the motherland with my mom and this time I'll get the most of the trip and really experience Vietnam and all it has to offer me. I actually really want to go this time. 

But for the time being, I already went on vacation this spring on a trip to Paris. So this summer I'm using to buckle down and focus on working up on my finances to pay off my credit card debt and my Paris bill... and then be able to blow it all on another vacation in the fall. The cycle continues. I have a lot of things I want to do in the fall so I really should save up so I'm going to spend the summer being home here in New York. 

But that doesn't mean I won't go anywhere. NYC is my playground. I'm always running away there every chance I get. Actually I've pretty much been there almost every day off or weeknd off I've had since returning home from Paris, lol. I have a love-hate relationship with my city. I love it because there is literally always something to do and explore and there's so much available to me. But I hate it every time I travel and visit another city because of what it doesn't have compared to another. It's not as cool as Tokyo or as pretty as Paris or has those LA vibes I love. But the funny thing is, NYC is not that big and somehow I still have yet to explore every corner of it. I don't think I'll ever succesfully see everything but hopefully most of it. And thus this summer since I'm home, I'm going to work on Project Eat My Way Through NYC. I want to try new restaurants and new dessert places every time I visit this summer. With family and with friends. Dining with my family gives me a great advantage too because I have such a big family of siblings. They eat pretty  much everything so there are no food restrictions when it comes to picky eaters and it allows us all to order a different dish so I can try everything I want on the menu. And it helps for a nice spread for the gram too, hahaha. This was one of my favorite parts of going on a cruise with my family. Plus going on vacation with my family as adults is very different from when we were kids. We actually enjoy it more and I learn I do actually love spending time with my family. I have a lot of fun with them. 

Which is pretty much what this past weekend was. Saturday I spent with my baby sister exploring NYC during the day. And then Sunday I went straight back to spend Father's day with my entire family in Soho. And then this past Wednesday, where did I go? Surprise, surprise, straight back to the city. It's funny because I can be a homebody and just be a hermit on my Netflix for days. But I also get cabin fever and want to get out and do something. Lately, I've been wanting to get out more though and explore. Which is unfortunate for the boy who  just wants to stay home and play video games with his wife by his side, lol. I'm not a big gamer though and honestly I suck. The only thing I love to play is Oregon Trail and the Sims, ok?!

So Saturday I went to try dim sum at Now Wah Tea Parlor in the city. On our way there, we got distracted by this cute bake shop called Bake Culture. It's your typical Asian bakery like Tai Pan with similar goods but the prices are a little higher. We were drawn into the shop because we saw the seats through the window were a baggette and croissant swing. They were so cute! Of course I had to go inside and #doitforthegram. I didn't buy anything though because I wasn't really craving any bread and it was a hot day so I didn't want to carry it around all day and have any of the cream melt or go bad. My favorite pastry from Asian bake shops though are the coconut cream buns. I've had this since I was a little kid and I always love it. Next time I'll grab one to see if I can taste a difference and if the price increase is worth it. All the other pastries look so perfect and cute too with eyes and faces on them. Asians always make everything cute. This is one of the things I loved about my trip to Japan last year. Presentation is everything and they kill it. 

When we got to Nom Wah, I worried about a line since I was working on a limited time frame that afternoon and needed to leave the city by 3pm to pick up the boy. And all the reviews on line said there's always a wait around noon and can be as long as 2 hours. But when we got there, since it was just us two, we actually got lucky and were seated right away. We ordered only a few dishes but we still had a nice spread and left feeling pretty full between the two of us. This is why it's better with a big family. You can order and sample a little bit of everything and leave it up to your siblings to finish what you can't. The food was definitely fresh and delicious though. I love shrimp rice rolls and these didn't disappoint. I would love to try other locations around the city. 

Afterwards we explored the city some more. We made our way to Stax because I wanted to try the new lychee flavor but it wasn't available that Saturday. I tried the Jasmine Milk Tea with a scoop of Ube instead and it was delicious. Stax always does a good job. They were a great find from last year in my ice cream adventures. And their customer service is just amazing. The girls are so sweet and everyone is always helpful and accommodating. 

Afterwards we made our way over to the Takashi Murakami art exhibit. We walked by during Mother's day but they were closing up so we didn't get to go in that day. And this weekend was the last of the exhibit so luckily enough we finally got to see it. The gallery was huge and it was interesting to see drafts of the artist's work and multiple stages and all the work that goes into one piece. It looks like a bunch of flowers all randomly placed but it's really not. Each piece of meticulously curated into its spot. The size, structure, placement, design, colors, and shape are all thought out beforehand and worked on until the artist feels it's 'right.' I loved all the colors and the brightness of the work. It evokes a sense of happiness and beauty. Life is meant to be colorful. I try to do black and white pictures from time to time but in the end, I love color and the richness it gives life. I'm a girl who dreams in seas of color. 

Afterwards we made our way up to another dessert spot: New Territories. A friend recommended I stop by because they had a cute new dessert with a creme rose. This spot didn't disappoint. It was beautiful totally for the gram and the ice cream was delicious. They did a beautiful job with presentation. The girls there are so sweet and helpful and allow you to customize anything you want and try any flavors you want to substitute their preset creations. I love their paper flower wall. I would love to set up something similar in my house as decor. 

I stopped by the Sezane store front again before leaving the city because it was such a nice day and why not? The store front is so instagrammable. I've actually never been inside because it's always busy in there. Maybe I'll make it inside sometime later this summer. Third time's the charm. And again, since it was a beautiful day, it was hard taking these pics because so many girls were there with the same idea, lol.  A lot of Instagram husbands were out in full work mode.

I left the city soon after and grabbed some pho at The Rolling Spring Roll closer to home before picking up the boy from his flight. I've been here several times, both locations and I love it. The prices are fair for Long Island since it's very hard to find Vietnamese food and and sometimes Flushing/Chinatown is just too far of a drive. It's still cheap though compared to other dinner spots and the food is great. Hits the spot if you're craving Vietnamese and don't want to drive out to Queens or the city. Their spring rolls are the best! Even the vegetarian ones are good. It's a small place but they do a good job. 

Sunday was Father's day and we took my dad out to Laduree for late lunch/early dinner. We chose it for several reasons. I was there last year and I loved it. It's a beautiful restaurant and the baby sis wanted to try and who am I to say to a return trip? And on our recent family cruise, we learned my dad has bougie side. He likes to try new fancy things. Laduree looks like a really girly restaurant so my friends were questioning us taking him there but he actually really loved it! And again, with a big family we were able to try a little bit of everything and had a great spread of food and desserts. This was a really nice experience. The waiters were all excellent and the service was friendly and helpful. I asked them to pick anything and everything pretty off the menu since I was there for the gram and they didn't disappoint. Everything was delicious! Service was a little slow but I feel it's not because it's actually slow but similar to how the atmosphere is in Paris and I only felt it may have been slow because I'm a New Yorker always in a hurry. When I was in Paris, I never felt rushed but rather they wanted us to relax and take our time with everything and enjoy. I would love to come back again. The restaurant is just stunning and the rooms are exquisite.

It's really nice though being all grown up and being able to take your parents out to dinner and take care of them. It's a sense of satisfaction knowing that you did well enough that you can afford to treat your parents to a good time. Especially when we started from such humble beginnings. My parents and I are first generation immigrants who came to America when I was about 1. They had nothing to their name and my dad worked hard to build a life for his wife and kids. We really struggled growing up so it's really nice to be able to have nice things and take them places now to show our gratitude and appreciation for all they did for us. From having to apply for free school lunch all the way up to bougie pinkie out restaurants, I think we did pretty good for ourselves. I'd like to think that my dad is pretty proud of all of his kids even though we're so different and don't look like the typical obedient Asian child. I think he's grown to accept us for who we are and is proud we're not only doing well but that we're pretty successful in our lives and not needing to rely on our parents anymore for help. We're adulting nicely enough for him to be able to cheese that hard and genuine on Father's day, that's for sure. And oh yeah, he's already picked a place he wants to go for his birthday next month, hahaha. Maybe this is where I get it from. My arms and my birthday-centric self. 

We also walked around and shopped a little in Soho beforehand while we waited for our reservation. My dad was really cute. I bought some shoes(wow, surprise, surprise) and he insisted on carrying my bags for me while I took pictures with my mom. I can't post a picture of the shoes I bought because they're a birthday gift to my niece in a few weeks. But I guarantee they're super adorable and extra. You know what's funny, too? My dad has never said anything about the crazy amount of photos I take on a regular basis when he's out with me. He's always silent as I carry out my vain ways. But I can feel his silent judgement on me as he thinks in his head, "my daughter is a psychopath." LOLOLOLOLOL. 

That's all for this trip. I'll post about this past Wednesday's adventure and photos soon when I get a chance. Hopefully before Saturday, the next adventure which is the baby's graduation! And after that I have a bunch of girl dates coming up. I have a day in the city with the Bitches next Saturday that I'm super excited about, along with a visit to Lavender by the Bay soon which is starting to bloom finally! And then the ballet to see Whipped Cream! And then another girl date with my homegirl Kerri! I have a full plate for the summer already. I can't wait to do more summer shoots as well. It's going to be a beautiful summer. I can feel it. 

Til next time, bitches. 
- RxBarbie

NYCC

I've been going to NYCC since 2013. It was the outlet that filled my love for Halloween, but being only one day a year and I wanted more than one day/occasion to dress up. It's funny because I've always loved Halloween. I even went home from college during the first few years to take my baby sis trick or treating still since I wasn't the partying type. I just like the dress up part.
And in spring of 2013 my friends suggested we check out NYCC. I knew about it but not what it entailed. And this was back when cosplay was not a big scene yet and you had to make/put together your own costumes. There wasn't a big commission community yet and the designs were all very primitive. It was a lot of trial and error. There weren't a lot of "good" cosplays either and nerds got a bad rap for being, well, nerds. Basically, if you cosplayed you got made fun of unless you were really good or really hot.
Today, cosplay has become more mainstream and popular and there are a lot more outlets and resources when it comes to making your costume or commissioning one to be made and the end product is much better in terms of quality and end product than before. And cheaper too since there is also more competition. And people are more supportive. But with all things that evolve and become bigger, it comes with a price. Cosplay is not all it's cracked up to be. There's a lot of negativity, drama, backlash, controversy, snakes and hypocrites in the community. When I started in 2013, for me and my friends, it was simply putting on a costume and attending a convention. Then as we delved into the world of cosplay and the community it entails, I learned there's a darkness unto it and a world that can be pretty draining, time consuming and a wasteful money sink of a hobby. 

In 2013 I dressed up as a minion, Iron Man, and Sucker Punch's Babydoll. These "costumes" were very bad so feel free to laugh. 

Photos by Eddy Suarez (besides my obvious phone photos because first year as a noob)

In 2014 I attended again as Sailor Moon, Harley Quinn and Nurse Joy. Sailor Moon was pretty ratchet and Nurse Joy I still am pretty ashamed of, looking back. It's funny because at the time you personally think to yourself "This looks great!" But seriously I look back and I'm like wtf was I thinking. My Harley tho. I will always love her. I'm still proud of her today. She was my original design and it was the year I got married so I was my best shape at the time training for my wedding and stressed out from wedding mishaps and wisdom teeth removal literally a week before NYCC. 

Photos by Eddy Suarez, Jaycee Estrella Photography

In 2015 I attended again but started going 4 days. This time I was my own version of Suicide Harley, Alice: Madness Returns' Royal Suit Alice, BioShock's Little Sister and Tinkerbell. I was actually pretty proud of these and how they came out. I went big with the props and invested more into the cosplays in making sure they looked decent for this year. I would love to rewear Alice and Little Sister again. Harley I actually threw together as a joke because the trailer for Suicide Squad just came out that summer and people were rooting for me to do her but I wasn't in love with her original design for my body type to be honest so I threw together a crop top and high waisted version. Ironically she didn't turn out so bad and I wore it purposely on a Thursday as a throwaway costume since Thursday is the lowest turnout but it ended up being a hit and a lot of people really enjoyed it. Tinkerbell was a fun one to do as well and I loved wearing the wings and seeing all the kids light up when they saw me. I rewore it later that month for my first Disney Halloween and I loved it. 

Photos by: Sage Studio, Ron Gejon, View Beyond Sight, Future Photography by M3,  Maze Studio, Hero Hotties, Kim Photos, Jaycee Estrella Photography, NYC Traveler TV

 In 2016, I attended again all 4 days as a Suicide Squad Harley and Sailor Moon fanart mashup, Super Sailor Moon, Falcon and Fleur Delacour. I prob shouldn't have done the mashup as my body was slowly going downhill this year so it wasn't the most flattering. But the design itself I liked. I would love to redo those pics now though in my current shape. Super Sailor Moon was one of my dream cosplays but I wasn't in love with how it came out especially since my hair just would not cooperate and there were so many hiccups that day. It was also my first time handling a big group. I give props to the girls for bringing it altogether in the end and making my dream cosplay a reality but truth be told, groups are stressful and a LOT of hard work. I never want to put together another one again. Its great when it all comes together but it's a really big thing to juggle.  

Falcon I was excited about and I enjoyed this cosplay but the day was so busy for some reason I honestly never got good pics of this. I don't even really remember the day, honestly. It was all a blur. Fleur was a short day because of how cold it was and it was on a Sunday, the day everyone starts to feel burnt out and lazy. I didn't get a lot of decent pics that day either.  

Photos by: Jaycee Estrella Photography, Cantera Image, Odin's Iris, NYC Traveler TV, The Junkman, Chris Narvaez, Maze Studio

In 2017 I attended all 4 days but with 3 costumes. I came as Lollipop Chainsaw's Juliet Starling, Valentine Harley and Wonder Woman. I was my heaviest this year so in retrospect, I wasn't happy with how these photos came out. They were okay at the time but looking at how I look now and then, I wish I had taken my fitness more seriously and buckled down to make these look better. I hated how I look as Valentine Harley with my stomach bulging. My Wonder Woman looked a little too chunky and I was struggling to hide rolls in my Juliet as I posed. 

Photos by: Jason Laboy, Jaycee Estrella Photography, Ron Gejon, NYC Traveler TV, Boris Quezada

For this year, I honestly have no plans because I did pretty much all the dream cosplays I wanted to do. There are still some on my list I would love to do but I'll live if I never get around to them. I might just rewear my favorite cosplays again since I'm in better shape now and would love to just finally do them some justice.

I've actually neglected cosplay all year since I've been working on my weight issues and fine tuning my body and my health. I've been working out for the past 6 months and I really hope to keep it up for the rest of the year. It's my biggest goal I've set for myself years ago and I'm finally achieving it and being much healthier. 

It also felt good to not waste money on cosplay although I didn't really save any money, it simply was allocated to different things. I saved in the sense that my money was better vested in different outlets. I spent it on traveling instead and adventures in Paris. No regrets though. I do think that my money is better spent on travel and experiences since cosplay is starting to get monotonous and not as fulfilling anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy it, but it's starting to get boring and the same old- same old after a while. I don't really get as much out of it anymore. But my adventures and sightseeing and experiences in Japan last year, Paris, and even back to California? I enjoyed a lot more. And I want to spend my time making memories with the ones I love most. I would love to spend more time with the boy since cosplay isn't exactly something we can do together. So this year, I've limited myself to just NYCC and no other cons. And again, slowing down on cosplay, or rather a halt altogether on new cosplays. 

If I redo cosplays, I would love to redo my original Harley, Juliet Starling, Sailor Moon, and Royal Suit Alice. 

If I work on new cosplays, I would like to do Ranma 1/2's Shampoo, Chobits' Kotoko, Oh My Goddess's Belldandy, and Silent Hill's Pyramid Head (this project is forever ongoing actually, idk if I'll ever complete it.). 

Everything else I would love to just reshoot and get nicer out of con photos. 

It's also been refreshing to take a step back from the people in cosplay too. I realized I've grown apart and out of it with the people in it. Honestly, cosplay is on the decline for me. It was a lot more fun when it had its mysteries, but over the years from getting to know people and see their insecurities, their selfishness, shameless self-promotion, sell-out ways, daddy issues, rudeness, hunger for drama - especially dumbass bullshit drama that doesn't even matter compared to real life serious shit, and everything else, the magic has faded. This is why they say don't meet your heroes. You find out the ugliness behind everything. 

I've never wanted to climb this ladder. I just wanted to put on a costume for a day and have fun with my friends. I just like taking pictures. So this year, I attend for the sake of just having fun with my friends and family. I want to keep it simple and enjoy the day. Maybe take more time to look at booths and see everything and experience things. This was how 2013 was when we didn't know anyone. We simply enjoyed all 3 days there and took our time exploring and soaking in everything. Back to basics. But with a bigger attendance since NYCC has grown a lot since 2013. If you see me there, feel free to say hi, but don't be creepy. A lot of people are creepy. I've had those experiences too. Last year, a weirdo asked to take a pic with me in my Juliet Starling costume. He tried to touch me and I moved his hand several times indicating my boundaries, but of course some people just can't take a hint. Then he proceeded to ask me to "share my lollipop with him." WTF. Get out of here. Don't do this. If you do this, you're a fucking weirdo. Just leave. Do yourself a favor. Before you start a scenario with someone in real life, think about how it plays out in your head. If your own mother would rate it a heavy 10 on a creepy scale, don't do it. Step away. Go back to your basement. 

Oh yeah, and here's your reminder that I'm married. So it's hella creepy. And oh yes, he finds out everything you try to do. And the internet does too. I'll roast your ass. Just unfollow me now while you're at it. 

Hope you have a good NYCC 2018, bitches.