I haven’t updated or felt inspired to really blog much these days. I’m not really sure why. Partly lack of topics, partly laziness and partly poor time management. I have no idea how back in 2018 when I got my shit together to start my fitness journey how I managed to work out, go on so many gram tours, blog multiple times a month, plan so many shoots, and pump out so much content. I was on a kick. I wish I had that energy and motivation back. I’m not sure where my drive went. And it’s not like I’m unhappy. I just feel…a little stuck. I feel like I’m in those boring middle chapters of a book, trying to get through it because someone said the slow burn is worth it. But these filler chapters of my life feel a little…lackluster sometimes. I just feel blah. And at the same time, it’s not like I want more things to do. I already have a lot going on.

Like NYC Marathon training.

OMG, it’s been a rough summer trying to plan my life around these training runs. It’s like trying to get the stars to align, picking out the most optimal day of the week with weather conditions, hours allotted in the day to run if I have work or not, and still get everything I need done on time, making sure I don’t finish my training schedule too late or too early in the game. If I finish too late, I don’t have enough time to recover between long runs and if I finish too early, then I suffer the consequences of tapering too early and feeling not ‘prepped’ enough before race day because there was too much time off before the long distance. It’s like timing your avocado ripening. Training for a full marathon is really stressful, making sure you’re doing everything right. Eating enough/right as well as fueling properly during the run and testing the fuel you’ll optimally like to use on race day, sleeping enough, waking up earlier and getting the training in on the appropriate days and meeting deadlines, as well as cross training and recovery. And making sure to avoid injury as much as possible to not hinder any training difficulties I might face. That was my biggest priority. Why? Because of previous experiences. The good thing about this training is this is my second time doing this, so I have learned some things from the first time back in 2021 when I trained for the Dopey. I know what works and what doesn’t work for me, and what to tweak and work on for the future. Like the injury thing. I was aggressive and ambitious my first time training and didn’t pay enough attention to preventing injuries and nursing them correctly when they arose and ultimately paid the price for it on the race days during my half marathon and my full marathon, both times at mile 11 when my legs started to give out. Fortunately, I wasn’t totally out of commission and was still able to finish the races, albeit having to run/walk it. This time around, I’m not too focused on speed and pushing myself too hard. There’s a reason they say “it’s a marathon, not a sprint” and “slow and steady wins the race.” I found that when I run at a slower pace and not going all out as fast as I can, I don’t feel as burned out sooner and can last much longer without it feeling like death. At a steadier pace, I enjoy it more when I don’t feel like I’m trying too hard to keep up with my breathing.

This time around, I’m taking it slower, to avoid the onset of injuries from all the pounding my feet take from the pavement, and I’m also purposely making sure I do all my long runs on the track instead of the roads around my neighborhood. The track provides better cushioning so I avoid the literal chest pain I get after about 15 miles, as well as avoiding any foot and knee pain from the long mileage on harder pavement. I’d rather save all that injury impact for race day, as bad as that sounds, but it’s much better to stay in optimal shape. I know ultimately on race day, the conditions can be much harsher to run in if you’re not well prepared for all situations but it’s also important to not hinder your training by getting injured too early in the game.

And speaking of injury prevention, this time around, I’m forcing myself to stretch more pre and post runs, as well as incorporating more yoga and pilates to help recover. I bought a massage gun last month and used it for the past 3 long runs and man, I can definitely say it has made a big difference. It hurts at first but the payoff for the next day bounce back recovery is HUGE. You really need it to work out the soreness in the muscles. It’s a game changer. And even better since I found out it’s covered under my FSA card so long as my doctor writes a letter of medical necessity, which she more than happily agreed to do for me. So if you too were also curious about a massage gun but initially skeptical like me, let me tell you it is definitely worth a try and the investment. Your muscles will thank you immensely.

This past week’s training goal was a brutal 20 miles and as much as I dreaded it all week, I’m glad to say I successfully finished it and I’m excited I only have 2 long runs left in training, 1 each month, 3 weeks spaced apart before race day. I’m in the home stretch, although I am definitely still feeling terrified because the distances are only getting longer. I’m trying to tell myself after this, it’s only a 10k left, but this week’s 20 miler was definitely HARD. I nearly didn’t finish. I was feeling totally fine and doing great up until mile 15. Then it started to go downhill. I switched from running to run/walk intervals and then as soon as I got to mile 18, it went ALL downhill. I could only walk and even that felt like I was crawling to the finish. I probably should have pre-medicated with Tylenol or at least brought it with me to the track training for when it set in. Now I know for the next training session to tweak. My legs felt so shot like they just couldn’t go anymore but I didn’t have it in me to quit. For once, it felt like I hit the physical wall, but not the mental wall. I still had the willpower to keep going. Which I guess is good, because they do say the biggest part of marathon training is mental. And I can definitely attest to that because during my Dopey training back in 2021 I definitely hit that mental wall HARD around the week I reached 17 miles in training. I cried so much during that training and really thought I couldn’t do it, forcing myself through it to finish every time. I know I can do it; I’ve done it before. But somehow thinking about 26.2 miles is still daunting. It’s a LOT of work. I still think about dropping out every day and giving up, but I’m too far in my training now to give up. Plus I realized as much as I would love to give up, one of my toxic character traits is that once I start something, I really want to see it through and finish it. I hate starting things and not seeing it to completion. So much that I forced myself to finish a lot of old Netflix/Hulu/etc shows last year before starting any new ones. It was really satisfying checking them all off my list one by one, as well as getting closure and seeing that all the shows I started did end on good notes for the most part. Ironically, this marathon was never a goal of mine though, this was originally me joining a friend who wanted to complete this as his goal but then he never finished his NYC marathon qualifiers but I did, so here we are; seeing this through to the end. As much as I am still dreading this, it’s also exciting to think that this will be my first world major I’ll (hopefully) complete. It’s crazy. I still have doubts about actually finishing this race everyday but at this point, I know I’ll be disappointed in myself if I don’t after dedicating so much time and energy and devotion to training all summer. If there’s another toxic trait I have, it’s my stubbornness. I’ll be damned if I don’t finish this. Even if I have to crawl across the finish line. Or be dragged across by fellow runners if I collapse before then. I’m determined to finish. And above all, I can’t wait to retire from this once it’s over. I think after this, half marathons are my limit. 13.1 miles are hard enough, there’s literally no reason to go beyond that for your ego at the risk of increasing injuries and destroying your knees.

I’m also kind of sad at the same time because I’m not signed up for any races next year. I wanted to spend the next year possibly pursuing other things so I had to forfeit the Disney races since the dates are either around the same time as other places I wanted to be, as well as taking away PTO time I need for those other experiences I want to put my energy towards. It’s really hard trying to juggle everything and learning you have to make sacrifices of the things you love to make room to try new things. Well, at least the NYC Marathon will be checked off the list!

Here’s to hopefully being able to say I complete this in 63 days! Send good vibes and happy thoughts, please and thank you!

Photos by: Successfully Failing